Mike and Katie

Pictures and a Bit of Babbling

2012-02-09T22:45:00.005-06:00

I love this little pink and green outfit. It was one of the things I picked out for Amanda. Who knew I'd have four little girls wearing it. This bassinet was Cousin Reilly's so Amanda didn't use it but I have pictures of the other three girls in it. It's next to the bed in our room. I have it propped up on one side on a fold-up exercise mat. I think with spitty babies it's always nice to have them on a bit of an incline. The elevated sleeping wedge we used with Tali and Ana was in pretty rough shape and needed to be thrown out. Julia is not as spitty as they were, but I still like her propped up a bit.

I love these soft little cheeks. There is nothing sweeter!

She's already outgrowing this hat. Too bad. She only wore it in pictures. If we make it to church on Sunday, maybe she'll get to wear it. We haven't gone since the week before she was born. Since I only have two days on the weekend to recover a bit of the sleep I've lost during the week, I rather sleep in while Mike gets up with the girls instead of getting up at the ridiculously early hour I would need to get every ready and presentable for church. Mike and Amanda went last Sunday. Getting one little girls ready for church is doable after sleeping in a bit. Four plus me? Not so much.

I love these little fingers. Amanda is always trying to get her to grab things and hold onto them.

Somebody get this girl to the chiropractor! She definitely favors one side. I hope to go in on Monday. Mike will be home. Again, when I've had help, I always opt for taking a nap instead of trying to get ready to go some where. We both need an adjustment though.

I'm convinced the reason she has trouble falling asleep at night is because it's so quiet. She often dozes off in the midst of the girls noisy chaos. One day when she was having trouble sleeping during the day, I tried the sound machine on the heartbeat setting. She didn't seem to like it. Too bad they don't have a "Daddy Snoring" setting. She sleeps though that. ;)

The only time I really see any sibling rivalry toward Julia is when I take out the camera. "Take a picture of me too!" Otherwise, they just want to hug her and squeeze her and touch her.

First smiles.

It happens quite frequently that the little girls are eating when Julia wakes up and needs to nurse. I can nurse her pretty comfortably at the table using a blanket for support and padding in the captain's chair. Then we just sit and snuggle until the girls are done. I try to have a couple of wet wash clothes ready at the table so when they are done, I can wipe them up and get them down, while still sitting and holding Julia. I actually started the practice when I was pregnant to avoid the pain of get up out of my chair and trying to bend over to wipe them clean.

Week Three

2012-02-08T15:26:00.005-06:00

Julia is acting more like a normal newborn. Her sleep patterns are predictably unpredictable. Today day she slept all through naptime. I think that's the first time she's done that on the days I've been home alone with the girls. I'm so thankful. I really needed the rest. Amanda is doing well during rest time. She does puzzles or school or colors.

I'm starting to feel a lot more normal other than the sleep deprivation. The uterine prolapse is almost completely better and I have been able to get out and go for walks and do some exercising at home. On Monday, I took all four little girls outside for the first time. We were going to walk over to our neighbor Carrie's but when we got outside we found out it was really windy. We decided to only go as far as Heather's. It turned out the Carrie and her kids were already over at Heather's. It was nice. I hadn't seen Carrie since she had her baby in December. We played outside in the woods on Heather's playground. It was out of the wind and the kids had a good time. When Carrie had to go home, we all went inside to play for a bit too.

Julia slept in the wrap the whole time. Our visit went fine until it was time to go. That's was a little stressful and involved lots of crying. Most of our exits are like that. We'll have to work on that.

Today, we actually all piled in the vehicle and headed out. Heather and Carrie and a few other moms met at a local gym to play. I loaded the three older girls in the van first and then went back in the house to get Julia out of bed and loaded in her carseat.

At the gym, I got Amanda out first. She's in the integrated child-seat on the passenger side. Then I flipped her seat forward and got Ana out of the back and Tali out of the middle. I sent them to the door and went and got Julia from behind the driver's seat. That limited Julia's time out in the cold. This car seat arrangement will work for a short while longer. The intergrated seat only goes to 40 lbs and Amanda is 38 lbs.

At gym time, the Ana and Tali don't usually play. They sit on chairs next to me and watch. I think that is just fine. They are quiet and not getting into fights or trouble. Amanda had a good time running around with the other kids and I was able to have some adult conversation.

On the way out, I just reversed the order. I put Julia in first and started the van. The other little girls slid around on a frozen puddle until it was time for them to get buckled in. I'm glad we went. It was nice to get out. We went for another walk this afternoon. It seems like life is so much better when we can get outside everyday.

Here's some photos from when my mom was here. She's been bringing the girls new puzzles to do and she has spent time helping them work on them.

Black Bean Brownies

2012-02-02T19:51:00.002-06:00

Here's another recipe I want to try sometime. I found it over at In the Kitchen with Audrey and Maurene. I'm going to try to subsitute bananas for the eggs . That worked really well for those other cookies.

Black Bean Brownies

1 (15.5 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
3 eggs
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease an 8x8 square baking dish. Combine the black beans, eggs, oil, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla extract and sugar in a blender; blend until smooth; pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top of the mixture. Bake in the preheated oven until the top is dry and the edges start to pull away from the sides of the pan, about 30 minutes.

Again?

2012-02-02T13:21:00.003-06:00

Update: My uncle is at home and resting. He's feeling no pain at the moment but I'm sure he'll be pretty sore in the coming days. He was hit right outside their place of business. My aunt was working inside and heard the accident but didn't know he was involved until he called her. This all happened just one stoplight east of where my mom was hit. Thanks for the prayers and well wishes.

Almost two years ago, my mom was hit by a driver running a red light. Today, my uncle was hit by another driver running a red light. This is not a tradition we'd like to continue. Praying for his health and recovery. It sounds like he may have some back and neck injuries and my aunt is very shook up. I don't think she was with him. I hope to hear more of an update later.

Week Two

2012-01-31T18:56:00.009-06:00

Update: Julia weighed in at 10 lbs at her appointment today (2-2-12). They want babies to be back up to their birth weight by two weeks. I think she's good!

I'm still in shock. I can hardly believe we have four little girls. A clothing catalog arrived in the mail and I started looking through the boys clothes and then remembered that I didn't need to g0 there. I thought for sure I'd have to start collecting little boys clothes. It is amazing to me that I'm wrapping Julia up in the same receiving blankets that I got as a gift from my neighbor when Amanda came home. I had no idea then what my life would look like now. It looks pretty pink and sweet, don't you think?

Here's Julia in her home-from-the-hospital outift. It was an outfit I picked up at a thrift shop before she was born. My newborn stuff was always borrowed because I was always surprised to have a girl. This is the last time I will try to squeeze her into it, though. She was a pretty big newborn. ;) It's so funny because all the doctors and nurses who see her say, "Oh, you're such a big girl!" And I say, "No, she's so little!" I guess she's big compared to a six or seven pound newborn but she's tiny compared to my 28 lb Tali. We go in on Thursday for her two week check. I wonder if she's up to 10 lbs by now.

Julia has been our easiest newborn. It seems like her periods of sleep at night have been shorter but maybe that's because I'm sleeping better and not waking up before she does. For the most part, she nurses or rocks to sleep very quickly and then sleeps well for about two hours. Even when she is having trouble going to sleep, she is calm and just looks around. She doesn't seem to have tummy complaints and barely spits up. The last couple of days, Julia seems to be much more social and looking in the direction of whoever it talking to her.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. My voice is back and cough is mostly gone. However, the uterine prolapse has returned and so I need to stay off my feet as much as possible until those muscles heal and things are back in their proper places. Nursing and snuggling the baby are good reasons to sit down. ;) I wish I could remember how long it took me to recover after having Tali. I had the same problem after she was born.

Amanda missed out on getting a picture with Julia because she started fussing before it was Amanda's turn. This was a picture I snapped in between taking photos of Julia. I had given her a bath and needed to detangle and condition her hair. It was two hours later by the time I got to it, so I skipped the detangling just conditioned and put it back into a bun. Detangling will have to be scheduled for another day.

The big girls are doing fine. They love their sister and let me know when she's crying and shout for joy when they see she's awake. They also swarm about her when I'm trying to nurse her. Amanda especially likes to hug and squeeze her and pet her head. I'm trying to figure out what to do with Amanda during nap time. She doesn't really need a nap, but I do. I've tried having her lay on the floor in my room and read quietly but she usually ends up "accidently" bumping and bed or floor which then keeps Ana awake too. This week, I've set her up with a special project like colors or paints and then I've laid down on the couch. That seems to be working pretty well. Soon, I will include doing a little bit of school with her before I lay down. I plan on just printing of coloring/writing sheets from Starfall.

The boys are doing fine for the most part too. They finished up their first semester in school. Tony did very well and Tyler has a fresh start with new classes. Last week, Tony was sick with a bad cold and stayed home for three days and then Tyler got mono. He went back to school today but I hope he takes it easy and rests. Resting is a foreign concept for that boy.

January always seems to be a rough month for us. Here's to better health in Feruary!

I Should Be Sleeping...

2012-01-30T21:40:00.000-06:00

But I just can't seem to put this little bit of sleepy sweetness down. :)

The Aftermath

2012-01-25T01:09:00.000-06:00

That first night at home went about the same as at the hospital. Julia wouldn't go sleep unless I was nursing her and she wouldn't stay asleep unless I was holding her. This meant I hardly slept. I've never gotten the sleeping part out of co-sleeping. It just doesn't work for me. Occasionally, I would awake and think, "Oh, I was dreaming! I must have actually fallen asleep." I could get up after she had been asleep for an hour or so if I left her propped up in my bed. Thankfully, she didn't party like a rock star until 4 am like the night before. It was more like three hours between feedings.

When the big girls started waking up, Julia was in one of those deeper sleep times, so I was able to get up with them to fix them breakfast and eat with them. They all asked about the new baby as soon as they saw me. After I got them set up with breakfast and had some of my own, I had Mike bring out the new baby for them to meet. I took some video but haven't been able to upload it to Blogger. Ana and Amanda were very excited but Tali was unsure and didn't want Mike to get the baby too close to her.

When I sat down to nurse Julia, Amanda and Ana decided they were done with breakfast and wanted to come see the baby. It was a bit challenging trying to get Julia latched with them rocking the chair and touching her head and talking in her face. They were all over her but Tali still kept her distance. After feeding her and changing her, I tried to get her to fall asleep but it became apparent rather quickly that I would need to go lay down with her to get her to sleep. There was some whining and protest from the girls but not nearly as much as I expected. Mike was able to keep them from bothering us so Julia could go to sleep.

I got up again at lunchtime with the girls and then laid down with Julia again when they laid down from their naps. I woke up after naps feeling feverish and achy all over. My throat had still been scratchy but now I felt really bad. I took my temperature and called the OB nurse. She said that they would be concerned if the fever was above 100.4 and mine was 99.5. I had also missed a dose of ibuprofen and she said that if alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen kept the fever down, it was probably just a virus. There was some concern because of how long my water may have been broken and she said if I start to feel a lot worse quickly, I should call back.

The medicine helped and I felt a little better but really surrendered to only taking care of myself and the Julia. I felt bad for Mike because all three little girls are a handful and the day I was in the hospital was the first long day he's taken care of all three of them alone. Plus, Tali was sick and extra crabby. And the weather was really cold so he couldn't taken them outside. This is one of those times when it's really nice that we have TV and videos to entertain them. We know it's not best all the time but sometimes it's REALLY helpful.

Mike has been great with the girls and they have accepted him as their leader. I'm amazed by how quickly he developed his own routines and strategies. At some point, I lost my voice and it's probably a good thing because it forced me to not interfere.

I did my best to rest and finally on Friday, Julia started sleeping by herself. I would still nurse her or hold her until she fell asleep, but she would stay asleep once I laid her down in the bassinet by our bed. A few times, she may have woken as fussed a little bit but then fallen asleep. The girls would all tell me when she was crying. "Mom, the baby's crying. Please, would you nurse her?" Who needs a baby monitor? I've got three.

I was still having trouble sleeping because of my sore throat though.

On Saturday, my mom, sister-in-law, niece and nephew came to visit and to celebrate my birthday. It was nice to see them but challenging to talk and exhausting. I'm glad the girls had a chance to go outside and play. It was the first day above zero since we brought Julia home. While the little girls were outside. We attempted some photos with Julia. We got a couple of super cute ones. I decided it was a much better way to spend my time than folding laundry. My laundry will look the same next week. Little Julia will not.

On Sunday, as I was looking over Julia's feeding chart where I had also been recording when I was taking medicine, I realized how many days I had been taking the meds around the clock and they were barely helping my sore throat. I began to worry that I had strep throat. Tali had been sick and crabby too and I could only imagine what another round of strep throat through the house would look like. I debated about waiting until Monday vs. running into the emergency room but I guess in the end, I thought that if it was strep and I could start feeling better sooner, that would be good. I was also worried about whether or not Julia could get sick.

Thankfully, the test came back negative. They offered me steroids or something to fix the sore throat and stronger medicine but I declined. If it wasn't strep, I would suffer on. The potential side effects weren't worth it.

Ironically, that night, for the first time, I woke up in less pain than when I went to bed for the first time in five days. If only I would have waited.

Thankfully, through all this Julia has been a very easy baby. She nurses well and then falls back to sleep quickly. She sleeps for a good two hours at a time. I usually wake up and get myself ready either before she wakes or before I go and wake her up to feed her. She spits up very little and doesn't seem to have any tummy troubles. She's had a little bit of a stuffy nose but it hasn't interfered with nursing too much. She fusses a little during diaper changes and then immediately quiets down and looks around after she's swaddled. So far, she's the easiest baby we've ever had. One of the name choices we had for her meant "easy going or agreeable." Funny!

For a while there, I didn't really see much of the older girls. Mike took care of them and kept them out of the way and occupied. Often downstairs or outside once it warmed up. He also got them down for naps and bedtime. I put Ana in her bed one night and realized that it had been a really long time since I had hugged her or snuggled with her.

Today should be different. Mike will be back to work for the first time since Julia was born so now we will get a little taste of real life. Only for a day though, because my mom is coming to tomorrow. Yeah!!!

Holding Baby Julia

2012-01-24T19:58:00.002-06:00

Tali has finally warmed up to Baby Julia and tonight was the first time she asked to hold her. She hasn't been jealous of Julia because she has her Daddy, but she has just avoided Julia like she was a strange animal that might bite. Tomorrow is Mike's first day back at work. Back to real life for me. I'm beginning to wish I had been better about teaching the girls sign language since I still have no voice.

Julia's Birth Story-Part Two

2012-01-23T21:47:00.002-06:00

I forgot a few details in part one of this story. I'll probably go back and add them later but included them here for now. I'm getting these posted because I don't want to forget and many people haven't heard the story yet because got sick on Thursday and haven't been able to talk since then.

One of the things I had forgotten about was how the nurse I really liked, Mel, was scheduled to go off at 7:30 pm. I found this out about 6 or maybe 6:30 pm. I was very doubtful that I would deliver before she had to leave. Another nurse came in and introduced herself and mentioned the same thing. She said something about hoping I would get this party started before she was scheduled to get off.

The other thing was how my doctor had her five year old son with her when she came to check on me the first time. I think she must have told him to stay out in the hall but he kept peeking in around the curtain and eventually just came and stood near his mom. It was a while before she noticed him. I wondered how often he'd seen women in labor. The nurse offered to stay with him out in the hall but it was fine.

Shortly after Julia was born, I reposititioned her so she could nurse. She latched on right away and spent a long time nursing. Mike was busy texting and calling people. He kept asking me who he should call but my throat hurt and he could hardly hear me talk so often I didn't bother answering him. I tried to talk to a couple of people on the phone but Julia needed help staying latched on and you just can't tuck cell-phones into your shoulder and keep talking. We should have brought Mike's blue-tooth with us.

They left the IV in just to make sure I wasn't bleeding too much. I don't think the Pitocin was still dripping but I was still having those painful after contractions which were very much like most of my labor. Mike kept giving my snacks from the food I had packed. I was so happy when I realized that I could eat finally eat dinner.

Around 7:45, I finally gave up the baby to let her be weighed and finished being examined and measured. Mike logged into my Facebook and posted about her arrival. Julia was back in my arms nursing again. The nurse who had been so attentive to my birth plan mentioned how I stated that I wanted to be the one clean Julia up after delivery. She was encouraging me to get up and use the bathroom and hop into the tub and that I could bring her in there with me. I thought that was a really great idea. She disconnected the IV line but left the port in until they were convinced I was fine.

After I got in the tub, the nurse brought Julia to me. She offered me soap too, but part of the reason I wanted to wash her up was because I didn't want her scrubbed down with soap. It's my understanding that the white vernix is a good skin conditioner and protectant and is only scrubbed off for aesthetic reasons. I just wiped her down gently and then the nurse took her to get her bagged and tagged. ;) I finished up in the tub and got settled back in bed. Shortly the nurse came back and that Julia seemed like she wanted to nurse some more. I just chuckled. Of course she did. She ended up nursing almost non-stop for two hours.

Mike had the computer open and was going through some names. He started with the "A's." I told him to skip the "A's" because I wanted them each to have a different first initial for the little ones for labeling purposes. I told him my three preferences. I had come across Julia one night on a site that said that it was a Biblical word that meant soft curls. I liked name and thought it would actually fit Tali since she has soft little curls. My theory was that if this baby was born bald she would have curls like Tali and Tyler who were both bald. If she had hair, it would be straight like Tony's. Looking back at the pictures, Tali actually had only slightly less hair than Julia but memory is a fickle thing. Anyways, the meaning Mike found for Julia was soft, downy hair so that worked too.

He continued through the whole list of Biblical names. We narrowed it down to two that we were considering and then checked the social security site to see how popular they were. We were going for not-so-common yet easy to recognize and spell. By this point, I was pretty tired and really just wanted to sleep. Julia had finally dozed off too. "So it's going to be Julia?" "Yep." "Should I Facebook it and make it official?" "Yep." And then I went to sleep. I might have said, 'Thank goodness we don't have to pick a middle name too." All the little girls share my middle name. Of course, we started the tradition before we knew we'd end up with four little girls.

I had initially wanted Mike to stay the night in order to help with the baby. With Tali, the nurses were reluctant to take her because they were short staffed. However, Julia made it clear very quickly that she only wanted me. I've done this enough times to know that I don't really sleep anyways so I might as well be holding her. It was very comforting to just have Mike snoring in the room with me. The little miss nursed on and off until about 4 am and then she finally got sleepy and snoozed until I woke her at 7 am. That was her pattern in utero, too. Very active until about 4 am and then she would let me sleep.

I was kind of amazed by how long we were left alone in our room. With Tali, I was woken several times to have my vitals checked. It was around 5 am, before they came in again to check on us. Around 7 or 8 am the nurse said, "Dr. [Last name of my doctor] will be in to see you shortly. Needless to say I was a little surprised when her husband walked in. I had never met him before. He was pleasant enough and took care of signing our discharge papers so we'd be ready to leave that evening.

Around 9 am, Mike ran to the grocery store to bring me some more food. Then he headed home to be with the girls for the day. We planned to wait until Julia was 24 hours old in order to do the PKU test and then we'd go home. Mike could be home for naptime and bedtime for the little girls. Going to bed without your mama is hard enough. I hated for them to have another night of going to bed without dad too.

I had a pretty quiet day of just holding Julia and trying to rest. Around 2 pm, my friend Darla came to visit. She was there when Tali was born. She lives over by the hospital and we haven't gotten much time to see each other. Then I just spent more time nursing Julia and hanging out all by myself. Mike had taken the laptop home and I just have a pay-as-go phone so I don't use it for internet or texting. It was very weird to have quiet free time and not be on the computer. Julia wouldn't sleep laying down in her bassinet but she would sleep if I left her propped up in my bed. Then I could eat and take just one more nice bath in the big tub. :)

Mike arrived around 8 pm and by 9 pm we were on our way home with our precious cargo on the first sub-zero night of the season. It had also snowed a bit in the afternoon. Needless to say I was very happy that we made it home safe and sound. It was also nice to come home after the girls were in bed. The boys came up to see the baby and give me a hug. They just said she was small. I realized that while I had remembered to have Mike grab the bassinet and the diapers out of the girls rooms before they went to bed, I forget to have him grab blankets or clothes for Julia. It was a good thing we had a stash of clean diapers in the living room. Those were her blankets for the first night.

It's funny because even though we've done this six times now, after walking in the door and unpacking, I still had this thought, "Now, what I am supposed to do with this little thing?"

My Kind of Birthday Cake

2012-01-22T10:22:00.007-06:00

Update: No strep. Just a virus. Thank God! I'm sorry is cost me a trip to the ER to find out but something about just having a baby makes one extra paranoid about stuff like that.

Here's some more photos and I'm heading the ER because I'm pretty sure I have strep throat. I wish I would have pulled myself together sooner to avoid the ER but I'm sure not up for waiting another night until the clinic opens. I'm sorry to the party guests who came yesterday to celebrate my birthday but I did say, "Come at your own risk."

The story behind the fruit and veggie cake in an email exchange with my mom:

How about if we come tomorrow with a birthday cake? Bonnie, Eliz, Tristen and Grammie and I?? Maybe not Grammie. Not sure yet. Could take kids skating tomorrow when it might be warmer. Sliding? Snow yet?
We are talking about coming today but day is already shot. Kids have day off from school and are happy at home.

Blessings to you on YOUR birthday!!
Love,
Mom

Tali and I are still sick and the baby's a little snuffly so there's likely a virus in the house. Come at your own risk. ;)

Birthday fruit and veggies would be preferable. I forgot to put tomatoes and eggs on the list when Mike went to the store yesterday. Especially with sickies needing good nutrition and not sugar.

Katie

Bonnie and kids would like to come. We will see how the day goes. Will bring as you requested.
Love,
Mom

I have tomatoes, eggs, broccoli, grapes but it is really hard to stick a candle in a grape. Considering that none of us need the sugar, but the occasional event is nice, can I bring an Island Cake with pineapple and oranges and cool whip frosting? I have not made it yet and will not if it really would be offensive to you.

Just asking if you think it would be ok since this is a big BIRTHDAY week!! I don’t need to bring it. Just asking…. I can bring fixins for spaghetti or just PBJ and fruit.
Love,
Mom

Spaghetti would be good! We have meat but no sauce or noodles. A candle in an orange would be much more my style. Please no cake. How lame is it if the birthday(s) girl can't eat cake? Hee, hee! I had two birthdays this week. :)

Katie

Very colorful photo!! May have to drill the hole first before trying to stick it in the orange.
See you about 10 am in the morning. Will bring snowboard and outdoor clothes. Can go outside for a hike while baby holding is going on inside.
Anxious to see how the girls are reacting to the new little sister. Grammie is coming, too, since we don’t have any huge plans for adventures.
Blessings!
Love,
Mom

Julia's Birth Story

2012-01-20T22:39:00.012-06:00

Julia's birth story really begins back on the 7th when I first saw some spotting on that Saturday morning. Sunday brought more spotting in the morning and Monday I saw spotting all day which lead to the late night hospital run. I had a little more spotting throughout the week and occasions where I thought I might be leaking a little fluid but I also thought that could be bladder issues. Thursday was my due date and my doctor was leaving out of town. Since she wasn't concerned about me or the baby, I didn't get checked because I didn't want to disturb things and go into labor shortly after she left town.

Monday night and Tuesday morning, it seemed like every time I got up to go to the bathroom, I would have some kind of leakage. For weeks, I had been waking up with a contraction that made me feel like I had to go to the bathroom very badly but would have to wait until the contraction ended to get up and go. The connection between the contractions and the bladder is what made me unsure of whether I was leaking fluid or urine. I sent my doctor an email when I was up grabbing a snack around 4 am wondering when I should be concerned about leaking fluid.

After the girls got up in the morning, I called over to the hospital to ask an OB nurse about the fluid. Before I even said my name, the nurse asked if it was me and that she was going to call me. It turned out it was the same nurse, Mel, that was there when Tali delivered. She was very supportive of natural delivery and I really liked her. She had already talked to my doctor and talked to me about the fluid and said I should come in to get tested to see if I was leaking fluid. She also said that if I wasn't leaking fluid, my doctor had wanted to schedule me to get induced on Thursday. I told her I preferred Friday since it was my birthday but they already had an induction scheduled for that day. Oh well. I told her we'd be in shortly to get checked.

We called our babysitter and got ready to go. Amanda wondered why I was packing up my pillow. I told her because the pillows at the hospital weren't very comfortable. Some how she thought that meant we were taking my pillow to go get it fixed. It was hard to explain that we were going because I might have the baby today.

We got the hospital around 12:30 pm. They strapped me up to check on contractions and the baby's heartbeat and did a swab to check if I had leaked amniotic fluid. We waited for the results from the lab and it came back "positive." The nurse said the good news was that I was showing lots of irritability. That meant I was having little contractions here and there not that I looked crabby. ;) When she checked me I was still only about 2 cm. I was so bummed. It seemed like I had such a long way to go and I was already tired and not feeling well. On Monday, I had started to come down with the cold Tali had.

She told me that we would try and get labor going naturally before starting any pitocin and I opted to try the "natural" (avoiding a search word) stimulation in the tub. I'm going to explain the technique because if I would have known it I would have tried it at home first. Basically, I rolled, twisted and pinched my mammal parts until I felt a contraction start. Then I waited for it to stop before I started the stimulation again. The nurse said it works best once your water has broken. The goal is to get the contractions coming 2-3 minutes apart. I spent about 1 1/2 hr in the tub. Sometimes I would get up and stretch and rock to avoid getting too hot. The contractions started coming more regularly but not really much stronger than all the contractions I had been having for months. I was having more fluid leaking with each contraction though. Shortly, before getting out of the tub, I thought to myself, "Don't normal people just get an epidural, get hooked up to the Pitocin and then just wait for the baby to arrive?"

About 3pm, I got out and the nurse checked me and I was barely 3 cm. More discouragement. Shortly afterwards, my doctor arrived and we talked about starting Pitocin to help getting things contracting regularly and moving along a bit quicker. She was concerned about the length of time it had been since my water had possibly broken. She thought I had mentioned something about since Friday in my email to her. I couldn't remember. She wasn't being very pushy or anything and I really felt like it was being left up to me. I was nervous because of all the stories; pitocin leading to epidurals leading to stalled labor leading to c-sections etc. But they said they'd start very slowly and increase the drip incrementally depending on our toleration. One of the last things my doctor said was, "You just talked through that contraction so it will be good to get you in a stronger labor pattern." I thought, "Well, maybe I am in a strong labor pattern and I'm just THAT good!"

It was about 4 pm when they got the pitocin started and Mel would come in every twenty minutes to bump up the dosage. Mike worked on his homework and work on his laptop. I was pretty content to rest in bed at that point. The contractions still seemed pretty mild. Painful, but no more so than the ones I'd been having for weeks. It was nice to not having anybody climbing on me or elbowing my tummy while having one however. ;) After about an hour, I got up to use the bathroom and tried to sit on the birthing ball and lean on the bed. It didn't really work because my belly was in the way but I stayed on the ball for another 45 min or so. The contractions were getting more painful and every time I had one, fluid would gush. Mike came over an sat behind me rubbing my back gently. We watched the strips and the heart beat and he would tell me how high the number got that time, etc. The contractions still seemed very manageable. I was no longer talking though them, however.

Around 5:30 pm, I wanted to move back to the bed and find out how things were progressing. It had been almost two hours since my last check and the first check since starting the Pitocin. I was at 4 cm. More disappointment and distress. I thought I still had so far to go. I came in at 4 cm with Tali and had five more hours of labor. It was the same with Tony. I wondered how I would manage. How would I keep going? Would I cave and get an epidural? I was hungry and wanted to eat but also felt queasy. I worried that I wouldn't have enough energy to push the baby out. They said I could have clear liquids but sugary juice usually just leaves me more queasy and shaky. I talked the nurse into giving me a banana. I ate about 1/2.

I was still just breathing through each contraction and wiggling my toes. I was pretty quiet and calm. Mike was great too. He just kept himself busy and quiet too. He ordered himself some dinner. ( A BLT.) He left the TV off for me too. I know having it so quiet was hard for him. He is so used to having background music or TV going. Even when he's here talking care of the girls, he likes to have the radio on because otherwise it's just too "quiet."

At about 6:30 pm, I asked the nurse, what time I had last been checked. I was disappointed to learn it had only been an hour prior. She asked if I wanted to be checked again but I thought I still had so far to go. I didn't want to be discouraged by little progress again. Mike said something about not being too impressed with the happy juice (Pitocin). I'm not sure if he meant he wasn't or that I didn't seem too impressed with it. She said that she would check me at about 6:45 pm. I kept looking at the clock and made that a goal. The "nice" thing about the contractions I was having was that they were predictable. They would start, escalate and then go away. Tali's were crazy. They would start, lessen, then come back with a vengeance. I never felt like I could rest between contractions, plus the heavy nausea would come back once a contraction ended.

When the minute hand made it's way to the eight, I had a contraction that left me cold and shaky and feeling a little off. I snapped my fingers at Mike and pointed toward the door. I want her to come check me now. She lowered the bed and checked me. She said that I was at about a 7 cm and that she was going go call my doctor. With Tali, I freaked at 7 cm and told the nurse, "Tell her to HURRY!" and then I had another hour of labor. So this time, I didn't want the nurse to rush out, I wanted her to come back and lift my bed back up. It was 6:47 pm.

The next few contractions were brutal! I started using the moaning to manage and both Mike and the nurse were now at my side rubbing my legs trying to be encouraging. The nurse was giving me some breathing instructions. I'm not sure how helpful that it to me. It tends to throw me off. I think that if I'm not at risk of hyperventilating (like I was with Tali) just leave me alone to breath in what ever way seems best to me. They told me to let then know if I felt like pushing. My doctor arrived and put on scrubs. I didn't wait for them to give me permission to push. I said, "Push," because I was feeling the urge to push and was already gently pushing to respond to that sensation. My doctor checked me and said I was a 10 cm and that I could give a gentle push just to see how things were going. Mike said her eyes got ready wide and they all went into panic mode. (When he first told me the story he said that the look on her face said, "Some body get me a glove!" I was so confused. Why wouldn't she already have gloves on? Oh, a glove like baseball because a fastball was coming.) It was 6:59 pm.

At this point in Tali's delivery, I flaked out. When my doctor said that I could push I said that I didn't want to. This time I planned to bring it. And I did. No fooling around. Pushing through the whole contraction, barely waiting until the next one started again. I pushed through two contractions. During the first contraction, my doctor said, "I see lots of dark hair!" I was shocked, "Dark hair?!" Aren't all my begotten babies bald and blond? I had my eyes shut tight so I'm not sure what was going on but during the second contraction when the baby's head was just about out, they were pulling and repositioning my leg. I just kept pushing. At one point, I had opened my eyes and a new nurse had appeared. She had short hair and at first I was afraid she was a guy. Thankfully she was not and turned out to be a great nurse.

At 7:03 pm, Julia made her grand entrance. I was so shocked to hear that she was a girl! I was so thankful when she was out. Delivering a baby is such a crazy experience. It's such a relief when that baby it out! They told me to open my eyes when she was coming out but I just couldn't. I was so in the zone and tired or whatever. They lifted her up onto my chest but only so far because she had a short cord. The doctor was going to cut and clamp it but the new nurse reminded her that I wanted to wait until it was done pulsing. So, she waited. At that point, I didn't care about the pulsing cord. I couldn't even remember why that was important. But it was nice to know that the nurse had read my birth plan and remembered. She also reminded them that I wanted to cut the cord since I knew Mike didn't.

And then I just sat there, holding my new baby in a daze. They kept asking me if I was okay. I didn't know. Am I okay? Am I really done? Did I really just survive all that? I was a little anxious to deliver the placenta and be able to covered up and relax. It was just a few minutes before the placenta delivered and then she checked me out. Julia also had her hand up near her face which caused a small tear but my doctor didn't feel that one needing stitching. That was a relief. That meant it really was over. I was still just sitting there in a daze. My doctor said that she thought I was in shock because it happened so fast. I would have to agree. I began to process through all the anxieties that I had worried about that hadn't happened. No epidural, no stalled labor, no c-section. Julia was here and she was a girl. :)

More Pictures

2012-01-20T12:38:00.002-06:00

Julia is actually sleeping without my having to hold her so I'm
going to bed now. More words later...maybe.

Safe at Home!

2012-01-18T22:44:00.003-06:00

We are happy to make it safely home on the coldest night of the season! I wonder what tonight will bring...

Hopefully more sleep than last night.

It's a girl!!!

2012-01-18T07:34:00.003-06:00

Little Miss Julia Marie was born last night at 7:03 pm. She was 9 lbs. and 20 in. long. She has a little bit of dark fuzzy hair, our first dark-haired baby.

I went in yesterday because I thought I might be leaking fluid. I was and since I may have been leaking for a few days, they wanted me to do what I could to get labor going. "Natural" stimulation helped to get labor started but after a couple of hours of slow going we decided to go ahead and start pitocin. I was pretty anxious about that but over all it wasn't too bad. I think the pit. was started between 3 and 4 pm. It was uncomfortable but I was able to manage. I only had about three or four contractions where I was visibly in distress and they were between 6:45 and 7:00. I only pushed through two contractions and she was out.

I was pretty shocked that 1. It was over and 2. That she was a girl. At that ultrasound I had at 15 weeks, I had thought I had seen boy parts but didn't ask the tech to verify. Apparently not!

Julia started nursing shortly after birth and really didn't doze off until 9pm. She woke frequently for nursing until about 4 am and then slept time I woke her at 7 am. That was pretty much her routine on the inside too. ;)

We'll probably be heading home late this evening. Mike will be going home soon to be with the girls and will come back and get me after they go to bed tonight. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet.

Thanks for all your prayers and support and joining in celebrating this new little life!

Still waiting...

2012-01-16T15:37:00.000-06:00

We made it to Monday. Yeah!

The Due Date

2012-01-12T19:26:00.002-06:00

Today was my due date. That really means little more than 40 weeks ago I had a period and haven't have one since. ;) I saw my doctor today. I'm fine. The baby's fine. So we wait.

Now we are actually hoping the baby will wait until Monday afternoon when my doctor gets back to town. We went through this with Tali too. I was already a week over due, my doctor was out of town for the weekend, our babysitter was out of town until Tuesday night and Wednesday morning is when I went into the hospital.

So we wait...

Still Pregnant

2012-01-11T19:57:00.003-06:00

I bet you were hoping my lack of posts meant the baby had arrived. I wish that were the case. I thought for sure I was going to go into labor on Saturday. I woke up with spotting, a sign that labor could start soon, walked all around the winter festival with lots of pain and backache, was kept up during naptime with pain and a very active baby then nothing. Sunday I saw more spotting in the morning and Monday I had spotting all day. I also started having more pain and contractions in the afternoon and around midnight I had some pretty painful ones and started to feel nauseous and shaky. We called our babysitter and headed to the hospital. I only had a few contractions on the way over and hoped that once I could relax at the hospital they would pick up again.

Much to my disappointment, I found out I was only at 1 1/2 cm. Ugh! I was at 2 1/2 cm for a month before Tyler was born. The nurse told me she was going to call my doctor. I said, "Oh, please don't wake her up for 1 1/2 cm." She did anyway and they said I could stay for a while to see if things picked up. After about an hour, the baby settled down and the contractions stopped. I thought of all the things could try to get labor going but I certainly had a long way to go from 1 1/2 cm so we went home.

It was nice out the next day so the girls and I spent most of the day outside. It was a good way to survive the day after so little sleep. Things have been pretty quiet since then.

My next OB appointment is tomorrow and my doctor is going out of town for the weekend. Mike had asked me on Monday if I hadn't had the baby by Thursday, would I go ahead and have her induce me? I think the answer is "No." I don't even think I want her to check me for fear that would stir things up and I would go into labor shortly after she left. Yes, it would be nice to have this over with. Yes, it would potentially save us some money because if another doctor delivers, we have to pay her fees for the OBs and the other doctor's fees for the delivery. However, I would really like to just wait this one out and not do anything to force this baby along.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Mike has been working at the store close to home since Monday. He says he's just not comfortable being 1 1/2 hour away.

I bumped the Advent Babies post up from December. I am the last one to deliver. Caitlin and I are the only ones who actually made it to 40 weeks. Some of the due dates represented scheduled c-section or induction dates. Most of the babies were boys. I happy for all the moms who are holding their sweet babies tonight and can't wait to join them.

Skating 2012

2012-01-07T15:04:00.002-06:00

We took the girls out to a winter fest this morning and I went with my mom and the little girls to check out the hot air balloon and sled dogs while Mike took Amanda skating. She was determined to skate all by herself today. Look at Amanda go!

She was doing amazing! And then she got tired, hungry and thirsty and melted into a puddle of tears. I'm so proud of her improvement!

GFCF Cookies

2012-01-06T04:56:00.003-06:00

My friend posted these on Facebook and I'm hoping to try out the recipe. I will skip the nuts and use light olive oil instead of the canola but other than that it's all food I can eat. It's also another way to use up those bananas that get too ripe.

‎1 1/2 cups regular rolled oats
1 cup coconut flakes
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/4 cup of almond meal
1/2 cup mixed nuts, finely chopped
1 cup dried fruit (I used craisins)

3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/4 cup canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. In a large bowl, combine rolled oats, almond meal, mixed nuts and coconut flakes. Stir in allspice and cinnamon. Add dried fruit and stir until well and evenly mixed. Make sure the dried fruit do not stick together in big batches.In another bowl, combine canola oil, mashed banana and vanilla extract. Pour wet ingredients over dry ingredients and stir until well combined. Bake until edges are golden brown, about 20 minutes.

Snow!!!!!!!

2012-01-01T22:20:00.002-06:00

Three little girls happy to finally have snow. One happy mama with a daddy at home to pull them in the sled and play in it on New Year's Eve.

Rabbit Hunting

2012-01-01T21:37:00.002-06:00

I'm sure you've all been on pins and needles wondering what was happening with the bunny situation at our house...;)

Well, I ended up finding a rabbit for $20 with shipping and thought that was reasonable enough. However, I was disappointed to find out when it arrived that it was a rattle. I thought I'd give it a try anyway to see what Tali would think. She was sitting on the chair in the kitchen when I pulled out the new rabbit and held it up next to the old rabbit. Oh my sweetness!!! The look on her face was priceless. Her little mouth hung open in disbelief as she looked back and forth at the two bunnies. Then she reached out for the new bunny.

In the meantime, the two other little girls had inserted themselves between me and Tali and were now crying and clawing at me assuming that clearly Tali did not need two bunnies so the new bunny must be for one of them. Why did I not anticipate that reaction? Much crying and drama ensued after that. I don't care. It can't take away the memory of Tali's precious face. She happily carried around the new bunny the rest of the day. Amanda was appeased by the promise that I would order her another one and Ana carried around Tali's old bunny. I had found plenty of the bunny rattles for cheap enough so I knew we could get another one of those.

At bedtime, I hid the new bunny and gave Tali the old bunny because I wanted to wash the new one before she slept with it. That may have been my mistake because while she likes the new bunny, at bedtime, she still wants her old bunny.

So, now we have three bunnies floating around our house and bedtime always requires the search for the right bunny. Sigh. Not really what I had in mind but I'm going to blame my irrational bunny-losing-anxiety and seach on pregnancy hormones. I only have a couple more weeks (give or take) to use that excuse anyways. :)

Sister Sweetness

2011-12-27T20:32:00.001-06:00

Oh sure, there is lots of fighting and screaming and hitting and punching that goes on around here but why would I want to remember that stuff? So, of course, I only pull out the camera when they are being so sweet to each other and all is in harmony...at least for the moment.

My neighbor drove by one morning and then called me after she saw the little girls in the window. She said that they were so cute and that I had to snap a picture. I confessed that they were just in their mismatched p.j.'s and would be too embarrassed to post such a photo. But who I am I kidding. During the winter, they are usually dressed like this. If we leave the house, they are covered in warm clothes anyways.

I do dress them up for church. I tend to go with stretchy cotton knit clothing so I thought I would expand their wardrobe with these corduroy dresses that I found at the thrift stores. They are very cute on the hanger. Actually trying to put them on the girls was a bit of a challenge. Stretchy knit is good.

Amanda plays the part of the firstborn* very well. She is the leader and the director of activities. And sometimes the little girls are both happy and willing participants. Like on this night, when she suggested they read a story before bed. She has enough of the story memorized to actually do a pretty good job of holding their attention. So sweet!

Of course, Mom with the camera was a bit distracting. ;)

*Yes, I know Amanda isn't technically the first born, but for all practical purposes, she is my second first born.

On an unrelated note, Amanda can often be heard addressing me as "Mother." Apparently, we read a lot of stories where "Mother" is more common than "Mama" or "Mommy" or "Mom." It always makes me smile.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T21:25:00.001-06:00

From Mike, Katie, Tyler, Tony, Amanda, Christiana, Talitha and Baby #6!

Merry Christmas from the IRS

2011-12-23T23:49:00.003-06:00

I knew we had gotten off too easy. Sure, our tax refund was a bit delayed and we wondered if it would ever arrive, but we did receive our full adoption tax refund last April. A wonderful blessing that we used to promptly payoff the amount we had refinanced for Christiana's adoption. I felt a little guilty because there were/are adoptive families in greater need whose refund was greatly delayed and some have yet to see the money. There were many horror stories of families being billed and fined and charged ridiculous amounts in error. I could hardly believe we had escaped unscathed.

Well, we didn't. Today in the mail among the lovely Christmas greeting cards was the dread IRS letter requesting more information because they were examining our return. Merry Christmas to us. And we need to get them all the information within 30 days of the date of the letter.

So, on a night when many parents are wrapping presents or baking cookies, I'm digging through the last five years of taxes and adoption paperwork trying to find proof that may be acceptable to the IRS that we did, in fact, spend as much money on adoptions as we claimed to.

Thankfully, Mike is off for the next three days so I can get it all put together to be mailed right away before everything gets lost in new baby oblivion. :)

36 Weeks

2011-12-19T20:29:00.003-06:00

No snow and 45 degrees F. I am not complaining!

Christmas Program

2011-12-19T20:26:00.003-06:00

We've been attending a new church for the last couple of months. It's the one that's closer to home and has lots of kids. On Sunday, Amanda and Christiana participated in the Christmas program. We've been singing the songs at home and Amanda and Ana know all of them but wouldn't sing when we were at church. Finally, a week ago, at our first practice on the stage, the music leader had the little girl who was leading "Away in the Manger" sing the first verse all by herself. She's about two years older than Amanda and Amanda was so impressed to hear her sing all by herself that she finally started singing with the other kids.

Of course, she still wouldn't go up on stage without me and Ana wouldn't leave my side so I planned to sit up there next to the younger kids. Amanda sang and had a good time. Ana never sang while she was up there and some last minute changes left her without a chair and a sign to hold so that was upsetting for her but she recovered pretty well.

After the program, I tried to get a few pictures for the girls in their costumes. Seriously, these were the best ones. They were pretty excited and squirrelly.

Not Just One More...

2011-12-18T03:34:00.003-06:00

The third trimester has been rough. Winter has set in. I'm in a lot of pain. Everything takes a long time. We can't spend hours outside. Getting out for activities and buckling everybody in the car is a real challenge. When we do get some where to do something fun, I end up with three little girls clinging to me trying to climb on my ever-shrinking lap.

I hit a wall last Tuesday, as I was pulling out of the driveway, (finally), on my way to do homeschool project day with my friend Amber. I am so ready to be done being pregnant, but I am not at all ready to be caring for a newborn. Do you know how much time they take? Whew! And I think it takes a long time to get out the door now.

And then...

And then on Thursday morning, after my O.B. appointment, I was able to go over to the hospital and hold little tiny baby Josiah who was only a couple of hours old. Ahhhhh.... So sweet! And then it hit me.

There's a baby in there. A sweet, special, magical little person to fall in love with. A new little face and personality that will bring unknown joy and surprises to our family. It's not just one more mouth to feed, one more butt to wipe, one more body to bath and dress, one more carseat to buckle; it's a baby!

Yep, I think I'm ready to make the transition from cranky pregnant lady to blissfully sleep-deprived new mama. :)

How to Talk to Little Girls

2011-12-13T02:16:00.003-06:00

A friend of mine posted this article on Facebook and I had to share it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html

It's about resisiting the urge to start a conversation with a girl by talking about her looks. I remember when Amanda was only a few months old, it made me uncomfortable how many comments were about her hair. Now granted, she was the first baby I had that actually had any hair and I've since come to realize how I frequently comment about little babies hair, too. However, at the time it made think that perhaps there was some real value in the Biblical practice of having women cover their heads.

My concern had more to do with Amanda's adoption and how having people mention her hair (or skin) upon the first meeting would be a constant reminder to her that she was different from us and didn't "fit in."

Now with three little girls, I notice how some one will compliment Amanda's hair but not Christiana's. That won't go unnoticed for long.

I guess it's a good thing nine months out of the year require hats around here. And come to think of it, I'm pretty diligent about having them wear sun hats in the summer because I hate sunscreen, so we should be good for a few years anyways. ;)

Remembering Aurora Marie

2011-12-11T21:37:00.002-06:00

It's been a year since my friend Nicole gave birth to her stillborn daughter Aurora. I know it's been a tough year for them and they are looking forward to the new year with hope and trepidation. Hope that they will welcome a new baby in July and trepidation as they remember how much loss hurts. Hugs, Nicole! I wish I could have been there with you tonight.

If...Then...

2011-12-04T20:36:00.003-06:00

If you have toddlers helping you unload the silverware...

Then your silverware drawer will look like this:

BUT...your toddlers would have been thoroughly occupied for at least five minutes. That's just enough time to unload the rest of the dishwasher in peace. :)

34 Weeks

2011-12-04T20:30:00.003-06:00

So close yet so far. Six weeks to go. Give or take. You know how babies are.

I have to laugh when people say, "Wow! This pregnancy has gone by so fast!" Ha! I'm glad it's gone by so quickly for YOU! :)

I've been feeling pretty good considering. Oats have been giving me heartburn which makes me very sad but not eating apple crisp and granola by the pan should keep the weight gain at bay. I've already gained 40 lbs. I think that's plenty. I know the baby needs to put on weight in the next few weeks but there is plenty of extra in my thighs and butt.

I've been doing more exercising the evening inside since it's getting more difficult to move outside. I just do about 20 minutes of random exercises that I remember from P90X. There are plenty of things I can do to move and stretch and strengthen.

Mike and Amanda are enjoying "playing" with the baby. The little baby's movements are so visible and frequent. They have a good time poking and rubbing the baby and feeling the baby kick back. Mike asked if he had ever played with the baby before. I said probably not because I was so sick. It's only mildly annoying when he does it now instead of nausea inducing.

I know ten people (in real life) who are expecting babies between December 15th and January 15th. That seems like a big number. It must have been an extra special Lenten season. :)

Being pregnant over Christmas certainly brings new awareness to Mary's uncomfortable situation of having to travel by donkey to Bethlehem. I'm not planning to travel for 1 1/2 hr back home because it's uncomfortable. (What a whiner I am!)

We have talked about names a little bit. For some reason, we find it more fun to wait until the delivery room or afterwards to decide. So far, Monterey Jack and Colby were a couple of the top choices for boys. Ha! Can you tell when we were doing when we thought of those ones? I mentioned a few of my favorite girls names last night and Mike said, "No, we need to stick with the three syllable names." As the filler-outer of forms and paperwork, I'm putting an end to that rule!

Sometimes I ponder with amazement that fact that I am actually pregnant...again...after waiting and hoping and praying for so long. I try to put myself back in that place and remember what it was like to envy pregnant women. I'm anxious to be holding this little
baby in my arms but know I should be savoring this time right now.

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm thankful for every day of growth the little girls have before they are faced with another little person wanting my time and attention. Sometimes, I think they would just really like more room on my lap. :)

Begotten...

2011-11-30T19:38:00.004-06:00

Apparently it's National Adoption Month. I'm not sure what that means but I've been meaning to write this post for a while anyways. So why not for the last day of National Adoption Month. :)

This summer Amanda attended Vacation Bible School at the church near our home. She's been begging about going to school since watching Tyler get on the bus when she was three. She was very excited to go to "church school" until a day or two before it started. Then she asked, "Mom, will you come too?" She decided she didn't want to go if I wasn't going too. Love her! Mike went with and stayed with her the first day. On the second day, Tyler took her and stayed most of the time. On the third day, Tyler took her for a little bit and then I went to pick her up. She loved it and was really particpating and singing and dancing by the third day.

One of the days she brought home a little cross that she had made. It had the verse, John 3:16 on it. Some time after VBS, I sat down to read the verse and explain to her what it meant. "For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son..."

Begotten...

How do you explain "begotten" to a four year old? The only thing I could think of was comparing it to it's opposite which is "adoption." All of a sudden, John 3:16 took on a whole new meaning for me. Jesus was God's only begotten son but God has many sons and daughters. All the rest of his children were, are, have been, and will be adopted.

I love that idea and image and that our family reflects God's family; one filled with adopted and begotten children.

The infertility that brought us down the adoption road seemed like such a huge loss at the time but we have gained so much through the process of adoption. Our hearts, minds and understanding have been stretched so much more than if we hadn't felt that loss.

I also love that I have a new way of describing our family. So, the next time I have a conversation like this, I'll know what to say, "Amanda and Christiana were adopted and Talitha was begotten." :)

Have You Seen This Bunny?

2011-11-28T21:28:00.003-06:00

I don't know how it happened. I have always prided myself on not having children who were attached to a certain lovey. I silently mocked parents who desperately searched for a lost animal or blanket before bed fearing the drama that would be unleashed if it were not found.

And then Tali came along. And for reason, at some point in time, she decided that she had to sleep with this little bunny. It was a gift to Amanda from Mike's brother. But Tali claimed it. She loves to finger and now chew on the little ribbon around the bunny's neck. It often stinks because of this and is very dirty around the bunny's neck. However, getting the bunny out of her grasp and washing it quickly before the next bedtime is very tricky.

Finally, I decided to hunt for a back-up. What I found were people selling these little bunnies for $25-$60. And they were used! Seriously? It was a bunny! Like a hundred other stuffed animals that have overtaken my house. I would have gotten rid of it in a heartbeat and almost did since it was white and not labeled as washable. (So far, it's held up to many washings.)

So, my hunt continues. If you've seen a little bunny like this, please let me know. It doesn't rattle or play music. It's just a soft bunny with little hearts and a silky ribbon around it's neck. While I would never put a price tag on my daughter's happiness, $10-15 seems much more reasonable to me. :)

Crossing the Ocean

2011-11-25T07:21:00.005-06:00

It's easy to get into a rut and celebrate holidays a certain way just because everyone else does and that what our family has always done. Recently on Thanksgiving, we have chosen to stay home instead of travel for the traditional turkey dinner (an football game) with relatives. It always feels a little odd if we don't do something special but I just wasn't sure how or why we should celebrate Thanksgiving. The conclusion I came to was that we celebrate Thanksgiving to remember how the Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving. They had a feast dedicated to God thanking him for providing for them and protecting them during their first treacherous year in America. The foods we choose to eat, in theory, replicate the foods they would have eaten. That made sense to me. I could explain that to the little girls. And I could make the simple wholesome foods the Pilgrims would have made.

As I was thinking about explaining to Amanda why we celebrate Thanksgiving and how the Indians helped the Pilgrims during those first hard years, it made me think of the many parents who have made the treacherous journey across the ocean to America in order to provide safety and opportunities for their kids. That made me think of Amanda's birth family.

Her birthmom's parents made the trip by boat from Vietnam in the late '70's. I hope someday we will hear more of their story. I thought Thanksgiving would be a good day to give them a call. Amanda has been talking about her birthmom and asking to go visit her lately. She will say things like, "I want to go see my mom." She seems to be exploring the concept of moms and what defines a mom. We were having a baby sitter come one night and she was a little upset about me leaving until she asked, "Is she the mom?" I told her she was a mom and she would take care of her like the mom while we were gone. She immediately perked up and when the babysitter arrived she asked, "Are you the mom?"

When I suggested that we would call her birthmom, Amanda was very excited and asked if we could go to her house. I told her we couldn't go today because it took three days to drive to Texas. We waited until after the little girls were in bed for naps to call. They weren't home so we had to leave a message. Amanda was pretty upset and didn't seem to understand the concept of voicemail.

They family called back right about 5:30 pm. You know, the craziest time of the day. Amanda was so excited and got right on the phone. She invited her birthmom to come to our house since "It's not too far away." Amanda also mentioned being in her tummy and chattered about a few other things. Then all of a sudden she just says, "Bye!" and hands me the phone. I tried to talk to her birthmom a little bit but Amanda began running around and inviting Christiana into the excitement. Tali started crying because she was hungry. So, I had to cut the phone call short.

We did connect through email afterwards and I thanked them for calling and they thanked us for contacting them too. They are still very respectful and formal but always so appreciative. I'm not sure how much of relationship they would like to have but I hope we are able to get to know them better and have a chance to visit when Amanda is older. I know it will help her process through her adoption story. I'm sad that we don't have that contact with Christiana's birthmom. We'll keep praying. Maybe someday that will be a possibility.

I ended the day feeling very thankful for the many families who crossed the dangerous ocean to arrive in America. Some came by choice, others by force, but each contributed to the beauty this now is our family. Our family now represents immigrants from Germany, Ireland, Poland, Vietnam and Africa. Each of those countries represent a perilous journey by boat and a struggle to begin in a new country. I'm thankful for God's protection and guidance over all of our ancestors and His guidance that brought us all together today.

A Very Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T06:32:00.006-06:00

We had a very happy Thanksgiving. It began on Wednesday morning with Mike's first day of true vacation in what seems like years. No work and no school and no church stuff. Just focusing on the family. The best part is that he is off for a whole week. When he told me this vacation was been coming up, I couldn't even begin to fathom what that meant because it's been so long since we've had him all to ourselves.

The main reason he has this vacation time is because he has decided to take the management job in our hometown full time. He has been par time managing there since April which meant working there two days a week and three to four days managing the store here. He really wanted to take the job and felt like it would provide better opportunities for our families. However, there was just no way Tyler was willing to move either before or during his senior year which meant in order to take the job, Mike would have to commute. It's 1 1/2 hour trip one way. So he told them he couldn't take the job.

Well, as it turned out, the main candidate for the job was Mike's top salesman and he would be commuting until his kids graduated too. What it came down to was that Mike was not able to take a job he wanted and loved because I wasn't willing to deal with the commute. Sigh. So we talked about it and he explained that staying here would not mean less stress and more family time. His company wanted him to combine and manage two lumber yards (the other one is only 1/2 hour away) plus he would have to take over all of the sales of his top salesman plus they eventually wanted to work him into district managing which means even more travel and less family time.

So, he is taking the job and he begins officially November 25th(although he's on vacation until December 1). We won't be moving until June or so. He'll be helping with the transition and training of the new manager so he will still be working in town a couple of days a week for now. We have just had a very intense stretch with hunting and inventory so having Mike at home on Wednesday was such a rare treat especially since the big boys were still in school.

We got several reorganizing and fix-it projects done and ended the day with a "burn-fire." Complete with hot dogs and "marshy-ellows." ;) It was the two little girls' first bonfire and all three girls were so excited and cute and messy. We should have skipped the roasted marshmallows for the little girls and just given them cold ones from the bag. After putting the girls to bed, I went back out and sat with Mike by the fire. Nice. Ahhhh...

I wanted to do something special for Thanksgiving but we weren't sure what. We thought about just popping it at our neighbor's and joining them. Really any neighbor that looked like they had extra cars in the driveway was fair game. ;) We've never really had any set Thanksgiving traditions since the little girls have come home and it's just too much to travel. Mike doesn't really like turkey so I'm not so inclined to cook it. However, when I was picking up chickens on Tuesday, the butcher also had fresh turkeys so I bought a small one. I had polled the boys about their Thanksgiving favorite foods and they liked turkey. They also requested lots of desserts. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull that one off but Mike picked up a couple of desserts on Wednesday. The other foods were pretty easy: green beans, squash from my garden, corn, mashed potatoes.

The turkey went into the oven first thing in the morning and then we went downstairs to do some more organizing and clean up. I looked through many of our books and it made me excited and nostalgic for homeschooling. Then we headed back upstairs to finish preparing the meal. Mike helped with peeling the potatoes and setting the table with the little girls. Amanda was so excited to have everyone working together to prepare the meal. I had planned to have the big boys help with the meal, too, but they were still in bed and it's so crazy with the little girls. It wasn't until we were just about ready to eat that Mike was able to go down and get them out of bed.

Prior to the baby snowball, we used to sit down and eat meals together almost every night and most lunchtimes too. For the last couple of years, that has been very rare. Just the fact that our whole family was sitting down together to share a meal made the day really special. Christiana was just beside herself. She's pretty distractable at the table anyways but she was so excited to have the boys at the table, she could hardly eat.

It was such a good day and ended with a phone call from Amanda's birth family but I'll write more about that in another post. I went to bed very happy and thankful, that's for sure!

I wrote a letter...

2011-11-22T22:50:00.000-06:00

Christiana's hair is finally getting long enough to do some styling. After a post about protective styling and fairy knots on Jarmelia's website, I knew some kind of protective styling would help prevent the tangles and breakage in Christiana's hair. I used my homemade Shea Aloe and took random little sections of Ana's hair and twisted them together. I didn't need anything to secure the ends and I didn't need to twist each strand first. I love that! Most of the little twists will stay for over a week. I just add moisture and coconut oil every day or so and occasionally freshen the twists that come out. We also moved Ana out of the pack-n-play and into Tali's crib and that has helped protect her hair and keep the style looking nice longer. I'm pretty sure she was rubbing her head against the mesh siding.

By the way, I love Jarmelia's website. She has great tips and has really blessed me by sharing her trade secrets. :) She is the one who directed me to Essential Wholesale where I can buy unscented products for super cheap. She did a post about how some of the specialty online hair products are all using the same cheap bases. Some friends had given me a box of hair supplies for Amanda when she first came home but they were so heavily scented I rarely used them. It's awesome to find same products unscented.

I also ordered silk lined hats from Curly Zebra for Amanda and Ana. I first learned about the hats last year on Happy Girl Hair but I thought the were too expensive. Instead I ordered cheap Lycra swim caps to wear under their regular hats. This year I decided my sanity was worth the price and having one less thing to fuss with was important. :) Curly Zebra was great and custom made a hat for Christiana when the first one I ordered covered her eyes. Upon request, they also made Ana's hat without the very large, scratchy label on the inside. Amanda complained about it as soon as she put on the hat and I had to take it out with a seam ripper.

However, these adorable little hats led to a discouraging conversation with a sales clerk in a local thrift shop. It began with a pleasant comment about Amanda and Ana's hats. When I showed her that they were satin-lined, she seemed to understand why that was important for my little girls. It turns out she has a friend with little kids that have kinky and curly hair. This is rare in our area. I'm even a little concerned about leaving Ana's hair in twists when we go out because I'm not sure people understand why keeping it in twists is important. However, I became very distressed as the woman began to describe how her friend "hated" her child's "nappy" hair and how the boy got the "really nice" curls and how their hair was just "awful" and she spent "hours brushing" it.

I tried to keep things positive by cutting her off and saying that I loved my little girls curls and thought they were just beautiful and it was so fun that Ana's hair stayed in neat coils and that maybe she just didn't know how to care for it and that we enjoyed our precious hair time. The woman seemed to need to have the last word and it was something along the lines of, "Oh, no, their hair was just awful." It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it now.

After the fact, my first response should have been something like, "I sure hope she didn't saying anything so negative in front of her children because that could really impact their self-esteem and self-image. I sure hope nobody says those kinds of hurtful things to my girls." Hopefully a comment like that would derail the conversation and prevent further negative comments.

I did find an email for the shop online and sent the owner a note. I may have been talking to the owner but I didn't assume that. I encouraged her to watch Chris Rock's documentary called Good Hair* and directed her to Happy Girl Hair's blog. Hopefully, she does some investigating and welcomes a new perspective.

*Good Hair is very eye-opening and informative, however, it also contains some very racy parts. I do not recommend watching it with your husband or teen boys. Yeah, that was awkward. Trust me!

Flag Fun

2011-11-16T20:56:00.000-06:00

When I was a little girl, my grandparents house was directly across the school from the middle school. (My mom and grandmother still live there but the school is gone now.) The high school marching band used to meet there during the summer and then march in the surrounding neighborhoods practicing. My cousins and I used to follow them along as they marched. When they stopped and rested, we stopped and rested. I wonder what those high schoolers thought of their grade school groupies. :)

Back at my grandparents house, there was a bucket behind the door in garage filled with old broom sticks with old sheets attached to them. We spent many hours copying the moves of the colorguard, twirling and tossing our flags into the air. Great summer outdoor fun!

Something insipred me to share the flag fun with my little girls last week. Maybe it was the silkies strewn all over the house.

The girls are still a little small and it was really windy. Oh, but what fun!

Some day we may upgrade to nicer poles but on this day I just used some branches from a fallen maple and tied the silkies to the branches. I made one for me too. :)

Sweet Potato Skins

2011-11-16T20:42:00.000-06:00

Last month we got about 10 lbs of sweet potatoes (or yams). I peeled chopped and baked most of them and froze them for quick meals. The little girls like them mixed with chopped chicken which I also bake in batches and have frozen. Since these were organic yams, I hated to waste the peels so we experimented with making potato skins. We piled all the skins on the bar pan, drizzled them with light olive oil, sprinkled them with sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg, and then stirred them to coat them. Then Amanda help me spead them into a single layer on the baking stones.

The oven had been preheated to 350 F and I baked them for about 15 minutes with the convection fan going. We kept checking them to make sure they weren't getting too burnt.

After they cooled, I just pushed the helping chairs up to the counter and let the girls dig in.

Yummy, fun and surprisingly filling.

I was cooking yogurt in the big pot on the stove too. The little girls have been requesting oats and yogurt (with honey) almost every morning. I prefer to get farm fresh milk to make my yogurt but I just haven't been able to go get any so I just made the last couple of batches from store milk. It so much cheaper than buying yogurt.

A New Park

2011-11-06T22:15:00.000-06:00

These pictures are from several weeks ago and they are all out of order. We've been trying to squeeze in as much outdoor fun as we can before it gets too cold and I've been slow about processing the pictures.

This was a new park we visited with Mike a while age and the girls and I went back to take some pictures. Here's Amanda and Ana being silly. Ana started out by intentionally not looking at the camera and then turning quickly to smile and laugh. Amanda joined her in the goofiness.

The little girls enjoyed running up and down this little ramp. Such little things give them so much pleasure.

This park is right on the lake and so many of the trees were still very green and lush even though the ones at our house had lost all of their leaves. The pine trees looked especially lovely and soft. We don't have many pines near our house and these ones with the pinecone-laden branches were mesmerizing.

The park has fun climbing tree that Amanda bravely ventured up. Doesn't she look like a lizard sunning herself?

Here is the main reason we ventured to this park in the first place. During art class last year, Tyler designed and painted this tourist photo board. (I have know idea what they are called.) It was a big project and he had help with the painting but it was his design. He was proud of his work and we are proud of him too. Although he said he didn't sign it because "it wasn't really his style of art work." That would be Paul Bunyan, his wife and kid and Babe the Blue Ox. Paul Bunyan is a legendary lumberjack.

Ana wasn't quite tall enough.

This park was wonderfully designed for the age of our kids. It was accessible enough for little toddlers and without any slides of heart-stopping height or dangerous places out of view. It was nice to sit and relax while they went up and down the slides all by themselves. Tali even dove headfirst down the slides a couple of times but they were slow enough that she didn't do a face-plant at the end.

They really played well for a long time on this day. They day we had gone with Mike, it had been swarming with kids and the little girls just stayed close by us. I always enjoy watching my little girls be strong and adventurous.

More fun with Acorns

2011-11-05T19:28:00.000-05:00

The sand box on the deck proved to be a bad idea. There was always sand in the house and I had to moniter them very closerly to make sure sand wasn't getting in the hair, mouths and eyes. Plus the pool would fill with water and then there would be a wet muddy mess.

We cleaned that all up and brought the kitchen up from the back yard. Then I put the leftover acorns in little containers in the kitchen for the girls to play with. These acorns were from red oaks and didn't peel as easily as the ones from a white oak tree. After painstakingly cracking about 2 cups worth to cook up, I put the rest outside. They are a fun sensory toy and not very messy.

We also added some leaves and sticks and other things from the woods the we collected on our walks. Amanda found some little white worms that came from inside some of the acorns. She was so fond of them and checked on them often. With the rest of the leaves, Amanda wanted to do craft projects and decided to paint them.

This is the craft project we had planned to do with the first batch of acorns we collected. Amanda painted the little hats. Then using a hot glue gun we glued the acorns back into the caps. Next we used a black paint pen to draw little faces. I drew some and Amanda drew some.

I still have a nice collection of double and triple acorn hats that we can paint and attach a ribbon to make them into Christmas ornaments. That might get done this year...

The Mullet

2011-11-02T19:09:00.004-05:00

Tali has the typical baby mullet growing and most of the time it looks like this:

I have often considered just cutting it all off and starting fresh but with a little conditioner, water and a whole lot of screaming this is the result:

And those little curls are just irresistible! And she seriously throws the biggest fit about having her hair done. When she sees me with the comb, she runs and starts crying even though it takes only about 10 seconds to comb it out. What a goof!

Week 30

2011-11-02T19:08:00.003-05:00

I'm about 30 weeks now. I'm definitely feeling third-trimesterish. I feel lots of big kicks and movements that seem to rock my whole body. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I ponder why I would ever expect to get much sleep when the baby's on the outside because he/she sure is active during the night on the inside.

The second part of the second trimester was really great. I was able to quit drinking the coffee which seemed to contribute to the rapid weight gain. I was a little worried when by five months I had already gained 30 lbs. Thankfully I only gained 4 lbs in the last month as opposed to the 10 lb added at each visit prior. I was feeling really good and able to really get out and be active with the girls.

Things have slowed down since bundle-up weather has hit and my ability to bend over is greatly reduced. We go out about once a day instead of twice. In the mornings, I spend some time laying on the mattress in Amanda's room while the girls climb all over me and play on the floor. They really like that time and when Amanda saw me grabbing my pillows today she said, "Yeah!!! Snuggle up time!"

We traveled up north to visit our families last Sunday and I got a box full of baby clothes that I had loaned to my cousin plus some boy clothes that she had. They got all washed and sorted and I feel prepared for either a boy or a girl. I plan to keep it very simple, just footed sleepers that button down both legs, socks and onsies. With Tali I had a stash of cute outfits for church or if we went out but I'd have to change her back into a sleeper when we got home because most of the cute outfits didn't fit over her cloth diaper. (We used disposables when we go out.)

This baby is just going to live in sleepers. I don't have to worry about the baby's socks or shoes falling off and they are usually just in a wrap or sling when we're out anyways. We'll save the cute stuff for once the baby is walking.

I got a fresh hair cut today. The last time I went out for a hair cut was when I was pregnant two years ago. The lady who comes to help us once a week is a hair dresser and she tried to cut my hair once at home while Mike watched the girls but it didn't go very well. So she watched the girls so I could go out today. I hate leaving the girls because at least one of them is crying and being dramatic but coming home sure is fun!

Can you believe it?

2011-10-31T23:05:00.003-05:00

Can you believe this little chunky muffin...

Grew into this?

Oh yeah, we waited until the last minute to get in our year book submissions. Thanks for getting them done so fast, Nicole!

The first picture was Tyler at three months. He was nearly 20 lbs at that point. That's what happens when just one baby gets all my milk. I certainly had plenty to share back then too.

Singing Sweetness

2011-10-25T21:41:00.004-05:00

While there is lots of crying, lots of yelling and lots of whining at our house, there's probably even more singing. And that makes it all worthwile.

In case you couldn't quite understand the words, she singing:

"God loves me, God loves me, in my Bible book it says that God loves me."

We have a Toddler Tunes VHS tape that the girls watch while I'm doing Ana's hair or when I just need a sanity break. I don't like to turn it on often because they have such a hard time when it needs to be turned off. Some of their other favorites are "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," "Deep and Wide," and "Ba, Ba, Black Sheep." They ask to sing them often throughout the day and if I start one song to distract them, (Or I just start singing because it's stuck in my head,) they start requesting other songs. Sometimes I feel like their personal listening device. "Sing the sheep song, Mom. No, the other sheep song. No, the OTHER sheep song."

We also sit down with our hymnal from church and find different songs to sing. They love the lively songs and they dance around and shake their shaker eggs. (Plastic eggs on a stick filled with beads that Mike bought at the music store.)

Such a lovely little chorus of voices!

Baby Talk

2011-10-17T02:00:00.003-05:00

The other day, Amanda laid down on my belly to talk to the baby. I had just eaten so my tummy gurgled a little.

Amanda said, "Oh! I heard the baby!"

She sure makes me laugh.

Happy Birthday Tony!

2011-10-11T08:04:00.000-05:00

Tony turns fifteen today! He will start driver's training in a couple of weeks. Initially he was pretty bummed about Tyler leaving for the military because Tyler gives him rides and stuff. That was until I reminded him that in one year HE will be driving and giving himself rides. And since Tyler won't be needing a vehicle, he will get the Jeep. Yeah, he's pretty happy about that.

My mom, grandma and Tristen came to celebrate yesterday. She brought a patriotic cake in honor of Columbus Day. Everybody loves singing "Happy Birthday."

The little girls enjoyed their cake.

I'm not sure if this was considered a birthday purchase or not but Mike and Tyler bought this new bow together and they've been sharing it.

They are working on their accuracy so they can go out hunting...if they don't lose all the arrows first.

More Provisions from Nature

2011-10-10T14:46:00.002-05:00

The eating adventure continues...

We went for a walk to gather more acorns (to play with, not to eat.) We ended up coming with a grouse.

The trails in our neighborhood snake through woods and occasionally behind people's houses. As we were nearing one of our neighbor's houses, my mom said, "Look there goes a grouse!"

BAM!

Not "BAM!" like a gun shot because the only guns we had were squirt guns.

But "BAM!" like it crashed into the window of our neighbor's house. My mom, Amanda and Tristen ran ahead to check on the bird. It had broken neck and was dead. There was no sense in letting it go to waste so we brought it home. We called another neighbor to help us come clean it since Mike was working out of town today.

Ana wouldn't go anywhere near the bird but Tali was quite enthralled with it. It's now simmering in our crockpot. :)

Owl Hat for Snekcip

2011-10-09T14:35:00.002-05:00

Hi Snekcip,

I just saw these owl hats and other super cute animal hats at Children's Place. There's free shipping until Monday and Code D2F2011 should get you an additional 20 %.

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_-1_784200_283939_25851%7C25911_baby%20girl%7Caccessories_babygirl

Priceless

2011-10-08T03:14:00.002-05:00

So, as requested, I took pictures of our chocolate-covered grasshopper project yesterday but out of love and consideration for my squeamish readers who do not want to see dead, roasted or chocolate-covered grasshoppers, I back dated the post so you have to click to go see them.

http://mikeandkatie1.blogspot.com/2010/10/chocolate-covered-grasshoppers-sorry.html

However, I don't want any one to miss reading Amanda's priceless reaction after she popped the first roasted and lightly salted grasshopper into her mouth,

"Mmmmm! Tastes like chicken!"

She couldn't figure out why I was laughing so hard. It still makes me laugh when I think about it. She ended up eating most of them plain and left only three to be covered in chocolate. Love that little girl!

Ethnic Foods-Updated with a link to pictures.

2011-10-06T22:33:00.005-05:00

Click here to see pictures of our grasshopper project.

A few weeks ago, we gathered a bucketful of acorns at our neighbor's house to do a little craft project. The nuts sat in the bucket for quite some time before I attempted the project. By that time, some of the acorns had dried and cracked at the bottom so Amanda was able to peel them open. She was so tempted to take a bite of one and I thought they were poisionous. I finally did a search and it turns they are not poisionous if they are properly prepared.

Acorns

We boiled ours and changed the water several times over the course of two days. They smelled lovely but the water was never very clear. Meanwhile our neighbor just boiled hers for the morning and then roasted them. Amanda tried them and said, "Mmmm. Good!" The little girls spit them out right away. I didn't try them because I'm allergic to other nuts so I didn't want to risk it. Our neighbor thought they were too dry and not very tasty. At home, I just drained of the rest of the liquid and frozen the few acorns that I had cooked up. Amanda will eat them if I give her a few. Silly girl! I can't imagine they taste very good but I'm happy to encourage her adventurous spirit.

And then...

She asked if we could eat bugs! Oh, great. But... not wanting to spoil her fun and considering that I could teach her some valuable survival lessons, we looked up what kinds of bugs could be eaten in Minnesota.

Crickets

Crickets and grasshoppers seem to be the most likely candidates. I had to laugh at the recipe though. It recommended rinsing and patting the crickets dry while they were still alive. Hmmm. I'm not quite sure how that would work. We opted to freeze ours first to kill them. So, as we speak there are 5-10 grasshoppers sitting in our freezer. Tomorrow they will be rinsed, de-legged and be-headed, roasted and then eaten with a little salt or dipped in chocolate. Not by me, of couse, since I'm pregnant and really shouldn't be trying strange foods. ;) I think I'll try chocolate covered potato chips as long as I have the chocolate melted.

Multi-cultural education? Check! The Native Americans used acorns as food and bugs are often eaten in Asian countries.

I didn't get pictures of the acorn processing. Would you like to see pictures of the grass hoppers? ;)

Sabotage

2011-09-26T20:21:00.001-05:00

No wonder Tyler's had so much car trouble...

The squirrels have been sabotaging his vehicle. This little guys was under there working for a long time this morning. :)

24 weeks

2011-09-23T20:30:00.003-05:00

Biking on the trail with Grandma and Cousin Tristen.

Grandma pulling Ana on the chaser and Tali in the trailer.

Trying to get four little kids to pose for a photo. Ha!

The baby bump at 24 weeks. Rollerblading was much easier than pulling the bike train. I bought these roller blades when I was seven months pregnant with Tyler. :)

Stopping to pick up another Wolly Bear. Amanda has caught dozens of these on our walks.

Determined little racers.

My favorite view on the trail. I love this barn especially when the evening sun is shining on it.

July 24-The New Due Date

2011-09-15T22:06:00.003-05:00

We are expecting again. (Besides Baby #6 in January.)

Only this time we won't be adding a family member.

We will be saying "good-bye" to one.

July 24 is the day we will be traveling to Fargo to drop off our firstborn son for boot camp.

Eeeek! Wow! Yeah! Yikes! Phew!

It's true. Last week, Tyler signed enlistment papers for the Navy and this week he traveled to Fargo for his MEPS. That's the physical exam process that determines if he's able-bodied enough to serve. What do you know, he is.

For many reasons, I never expected this to be the path he would travel down but in so many ways it makes sense for him. I'm glad he has a plan for after high school. He hasn't been really committed to the acedemic life and he's definitely more of thrill-seeker. he's been a challenge to parent but perhaps really suited for military life. He seems to really need structure and some one challenging him.

He did really well on their entrance exam and they initially wanted him to consider the nuclear engineering program. We were somewhat shocked but really we know he's a smart kid, he just has trouble focusing and doing the hard, mundane work. However, he ended up in the wrong math class last year and instead of moving him, they kept pushing him through even though it was obvious he wasn't getting the concepts. He ended up failing the last quarter and not to mention wasting year not building a math foundation but floudering in a class way above his head.

But that is neither here nor there. He still has his pick of top jobs because of his good score and because he signed up early in the year. He's signed up to do some kind of electrical engineering technical work. I'm sort of glad the nuclear engineering thing passed because,well, nuclear energy is scary stuff. Yes, I was more concerned about him being injured in a nuclear accident after his time in the military than during the time he's actually in the military. Whatever, don't judge me. :)

Much like expecting a baby, I feel like there are still many more months to get through and things could change, but the other night when he was in Fargo, I began to really think about what it was going to like to not have him around. To not talk to him and see him everyday. To have some one else be responsible for him.

I just take things one day at a time. With all my kids. There's no other way to do it. We have no idea what the future holds for any of them.

But my cousin is right. My life is weird. :)

And just like that...

2011-09-15T18:54:00.003-05:00

Summer is over.

It was warm enough to go to the beach on Monday morning. By Wednesday morning, we were searching for hats and mittens.

We even needed to bundle up the garden.

I do have hope that it will warm back up a bit but I'm pretty sure it's time to put away the swimsuits.

A Garden Update

2011-09-12T20:56:00.000-05:00

In the middle of July, my squash were looking pretty meager so I planted some carrots, beans and kale to fill up some of the empty space in my garden.

And then the squash exploded in my garden. They have completely taken over and I have cut back many vines that were escaping from the kennel. I have also tucked many vines and small squash back inside the wires to grow inside the protection of the fence.

But some squash have been growing out where the voracious deer have access to them. I've been concerned that I would get up one morning and find giant bites out of the these rogue squash.

Good squash-growing inside the fence. Bad squash-growing outside the fence.

I was able to find some chicken wire in the shed that should protect them.

I can't wait to cook these babies up. Mmmm! I love buttercup squash! It was the only kind I ever remember my mom growing too.

The Beach Take 5 with Photos

2011-09-10T19:24:00.019-05:00

When we made our first attempt at the beach this year, we went back to my favorite beach from last year. However what worked with two basically immobile babies didn't not work for two toddlers. The rocky shoreline didn't allow for the toddlers to sit on the edge and play in the sand or wade in the water a little ways. So we went back to the beach with the playground. Here's the picture from last year. What I never considered was how all of the rain water from the parking lot washed down this driveway into the lake. There was a small drainage water area but much of that wash-out ended up in the lake.

They completed a huge water quality protection project at the beach this summer and it looks dramtically different. When I pulled up the first time, I couldn't really comprehend the change. I only thought, "Hmmm, something looks different." Now the water from the parking lot drains into this large rain garden.

There is now a dike that surrounds the beach keeping the rainwater from the parking lot and the large lawn from running into the lake. Nice! It's also gated and fenced off. Thankfully this little opening in the fence is just wide enough for the double jogger. See the pine tree? In the photo from last year the babies are sitting right next to it in the shade.

It was a big project and important for protecting the beach and lake.

Mike took us to the beach today which is why I was able to bring the camera too.

I was able to take Amanda out deep to practice some swimming. Then we played for a while on the playground and Amanda wanted to be buried in sand.

Did I ever explain about these yogurt cups? When we had the pool party for Christiana's birthday, the favorite toy was a plastic cup with holes in the bottom that had contained a potted plant. I started collecting our yogurt containers and used a wood burning tool to poke holes in the bottom. We have quite a collection now. I also bring a few without holes to carry water to rinse off Amanda's feet at the car. Once when I told Tony to save the container for a pool toy he said, "What are we poor or something?!" Obviously not, because look at all the yogurt we buy. :)

We know these 80 degree days aren't going to last so we're making the most of them. Mike was reading the forecast and Monday was supposed to have a high of 80 and then the rest of the week was only going to get to 60. Eeek! Am I ready for that? No way!

First Day of School

2011-09-09T22:53:00.004-05:00

Misc. Pictures for You

2011-09-08T19:37:00.001-05:00

The sun is no longer strong enough to warm up the pool on the back deck so we needed a new activity to do on hot afternoons when we wanted to be in the shade. We set out with a blue tub, shovels and a wagon and went to the areas of wash-outs where there was soft sand on the road edge. It's not much sand but they've enjoyed it and I've experienced enough to decide that we need another back deck activity. Amanda and Ana wear their Lycra swim caps to keep the sand out of their hair. Of course, when the hat falls off for some reason and they use their sandy hands to replace the cap, it defeats the purpose.

The blackberries have been amazing this year. We just walk along our road and find them in the ditches. We've got some in the freezer but most of them we just eat right away. We found a nice little patch along the bike trail too. It's so addicting. I can't resist picking them if I see them. I'm glad their pretty much done because my arms and legs are so scratched up.

Everybody is so excited for food co-op day. Once a month, we get bulk items and produce from UNFI. It's my favorite day of the month.

Mike has to bring home some kind of music maker whenever he stops by the music store with Amanda.

Our three-kid solution for bike rides. Amanda can ride her own bike and I can pull the trailer but my mom brought the chaser and this is the only way for me to take Amanda out on the chaser. Plus, Amanda thinks it's awesome that she's "pulling" the babies. This picture was taken pre-nausea and the train was put away for most of the summer. Now that it's cooler we've taken it out more often. Last weekend we took it out on the bike trail and I pulled while Mike rollerbladed. Next time we'll switch. I wonder which activity is more work.

Sweet Craigslist find for $20. We've taken it to the beach three times now. I can roll it right down to the shore and rinse the girls off and wrap them in their towels. A super solution to the sand problem. It's also so much easier to push on our gravel roads. I no longer cringe when I hear the grader going by considering what a nightmare it is to push to Duo-Glider through soft gravel.

"Daddy's sippy cups."

I think that clears my camera card of the random pictures I wanted to share will you all. The little tidbits that make me smile.

Park with Daddy

2011-09-04T22:39:00.006-05:00

I'm thankful my girls have such strong healthy bodies and I'm even more thankful when they can use them for appropriate activites like climbing, jumping and sliding at the park. That is much better than climbing, jumping, and sliding on the couches, tables, stairs, and beds.

The weather has been cooler so going to the part is more enjoyable.

Tali is a pretty spunky do-it-myself-er. She kept trying to walk on the spinning merry-go-round.

Then when she was done she asked, "Hup?" Which is her adorable combination of "help" and "up."

Tali's not the only one who keeps Daddy on his toes wanting to do things herself. Amanda was able to turn herself around and climb down the oppposite side of this climbing structure.

I was pretty shocked to find out that Christiana was able to swing by herself this year. She just seems so young! She enjoys a good push from her sister though. Amanda also learned how to pump herself on the swing this year as well.

Thanks for taking us to the park, Daddy!

Little Grammy's Big Apple Adventure

2011-09-02T14:00:00.003-05:00

Two years ago, my grandmother was very ill. The doctors and nurses thought she was going to die. They told us to call the family together to say our goodbyes. My aunt, who is a nun, received special permission to travel to come and see her. We didn't think she would live until her 90th birthday.

She fooled us all! She is now nearing her 92nd birthday and just last week, she hopped on a plane and traveled to New York to visit Sr. Maria.

She was accompanied by my mom, my sister and my two nephews. Grammy and my mom stayed at the convent in an area separate from the nuns and my sister and her boys stayed in a nearby hotel. It was a wonderful time for Grammy to visit with her daughter since she couldn't remember Sr. Maria's visit from when she was so ill.

They had also planned to drive down to Washington to see Grammy's brother, but with hurricane Irene, they needed to cut their trip short. It was pretty chaotic and stressful trying to get flights out of New York, but thanks to the hard work and sleepless night spent by my sister, they made it back to Minnesota before the storm hit.

I'm thankful for God's protection for them on their trip and thankful each precious day Grammy gets to be apart of our lives and make memories with us.

The Challenge and The Invitation

2011-08-19T19:50:00.006-05:00

The night my friend (we'll call her Dee) told us about her husband's (we'll call him John) tumor and diagnosis, she also told us of the vision he already had in his mind to turn the focus off of his illness and onto Christ. Instead of worrying about him and just praying for his healing, he challenged every man who would listen to him to get on his knees and pray out loud with his wife for the sake of their family. He spoke at his church, presented the challenge on his Caringbridge site and it was even written about in the local paper. He really believed that if men would get on their knees and lead their families in prayer, it would make a real difference in homes, churches and communities.

It wasn't until I was sitting the room packed with people who knew John, that I realized what the challenge meant. Christ has filled his heart with love for others and just like Christ he didn't not want any to perish. He invested in people's lives in tangible ways; kids he coached, patients in his practice, the kids at homeschool gym, couples in his church. The way John stopped by and visited Mike at work once John was unable to work showed his great love for our family.

The room was not only filled with people who loved John, but people that John loved. Loved with the love of Christ that is eternal and sacrificial. John's pastor did a wonderful job of expressing how John felt toward each and every one of us in the room. John didn't want us to worry about him. He knew where he was going and that it was a wonderful place but that he desparately wanted us to join him there. He believed that if any of his friends or family, or strangers for that matter, came to know the love of Christ and the hope of heaven as a result of his illness it would, all be worth it.

That's what makes John's passing such a great loss. He lived his life with love for others and a hope for their eternal future. He was not a man of many words but lived his life in action. However, he took the opportunities his illness presented to share words of love, life and truth. Here are a couple of posts from his Caringbridge site. The first one that he wrote last fall. The second is written by Dee. It's the words he struggled to share during his last weeks of life.

Thursday, November 4, 2010
I’ve been meaning to share this with friends and every time I try, I can’t seem to get it out, so I thought I would write it down. You could say this is my testimony. I have always known Jesus Christ as Savior of the world, but I hadn’t made Him “Lord” of my life until about eight years ago. After coming back from a mission trip to Ecuador I said a prayer asking Jesus to be Lord of my life, to come into my heart, and fill me with the Holy Spirit. I didn’t feel any different right away, but I noticed after that if I heard a dirty joke, or someone swore I would be saddened and disgusted. That had never happened before so I know it wasn’t me who was saddened and disgusted but Jesus who was in me. I was truly born again. If you want to read about being born again read John chapter 3.

Romans 10: 9 “That if you confess with your mouth that “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” I found out that it wasn’t enough to know Jesus as Savoir only, but “Lord and Savior”. Making Jesus the Lord of my Life is trying to please Him every day with my words and actions and reading His word and trying to obey it. I am far from perfect but I am trying.

After making Jesus Lord of my life, I also felt a real peace. I was sure I was saved and that I would go to heaven someday. I thought I knew this before but now I was really sure. I want each one of you reading this, my friends and family, to know this peace and joy of salvation. I also want to see you in heaven someday. So please consider praying like I did, read John chapter 3, and make Jesus Christ “Lord and Savior” of your life.
Thanks again for all the prayers, I really appreciate them.
God Bless,
John

Sunday, August 7, 2011
Several weeks ago John worked hard to give me the words he wanted to share at his Home Going Celebration.

They included:
1) I want to go home (heaven)
2) Adventure
3) Joyful
4) Invite

With gestures, head nods and scarce words, he carefully worked me through the message that he is going home, it will be joyful and that it has been an adventure that began the day he allowed Jesus to make a home in his life. He wants to invite you all to join him in this adventure and to ultimately to join him in his heavenly home. He was also very clear that he wanted everyone to be warned that hell was for real and that heaven was the better option. He had me repeat the main ideas, not once, but three times, saying "perfect" when each repetition. So, these words could be considered John's last loving words to each of you who have been so lovingly concerned for him. John's initial desire to have couples pray together was called "John's Challenge". This challenge could be called "John's Home Going Invitation".

I want to live my life the way John lived. I want the people I come in contact with to know they are loved deeply not only by me but by God their Creator and Jesus their Savior.

Beauty

2011-08-18T21:09:00.005-05:00

On August 5th, we found this big guy on some milkweed, brought him home and continued to feed him fresh milkweed.

On August 8th, he formed this chrysalis or cocoon. Amanda kept calling it a racoon.

This morning, I notice the chrysalis had become translucent and knew the butterfly would be emerging soon.

When we got up after naps, this was what we found. The butterfly had emerged and was hanging from the empty shell.

I helped him out of the jar and onto a spot on the deck where he continued to hang until he disappeared.

It was the perfect day to witness such a miracle of nature and such beauty. The magic of a butterfly's transformation never gets old.

I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin

2011-08-18T15:53:00.003-05:00

This was the final song that played at the funeral yesterday. It was sung by the pastor and the church's choir. I have heard this song before but considering the context of the moment, I starting bawling after the second line and couldn't stop until the song finished. We have such great hope and my friend's husband continued to share this hope right up to his last days.

But more on that later...

Sadness and Joy

2011-08-17T21:55:00.002-05:00

Almost two years ago, I sat on the stairs in my entryway leaning against Mike, pregnant with Tali and holding newborn Christiana in my arms, crying with my dearest friend who just found out her husband had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

We had watched their dog while they went to the Cities for an MRI. She was picking up Tommy and sharing the results. It was heartbreaking to think that she was going to lose her husband.

After the initial shock of the diagnosis, we all sort of moved into "faith-and-hope" mode. You know, where you take one day at a time and don't really talk about the future and hold onto hope of miraculous healing. I would often wonder if she thought about life without her husband but didn't dare ask her about it fearing that would show I didn't have faith he'd be healed.

Our life became very intense caring for the babies and her life became very intense caring for her husband. We used to see each other several times a week. She had been my partner in adventures with my boys every since we moved here. Sliding, skating, swimming, sports, the park, etc. It was so hard for me to not be able to support her during this hard time. I'm sure it was hard for her to not be able to share in our joyful time as our family has grown and the pain of infertility became a blurry memory.

My friend and her husband were strong Christians and their faith grew and was shared throughout this battle with cancer. Once he was unable to work, he often stopped by Mike's work and shared his health struggles and his faith. There was often signs of hope that he would be healed and we all continued to hope and pray that he would get a miracle.

Last week, he received his miracle. His body was completely restore and healed in his new heavenly home. Tonight we gathered to celebrate his life and rejoice in the hope of heaven. He was an amazing and faithful man. It is a great loss.

There is great comfort in knowing he had a strong relationship with Jesus and knowing that in Christ we will see him again. But I am still heartbroken. Heartbroken for his wife, his three children, his parents, his extended family, his friends, his patients, his neighbors, the list goes on.

The service was so beautiful, so filled with hope and promise and words of comfort as we said good-by. But the words I'm clinging to tonight as my heart is broken and the tears are falling come from the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35, "Jesus wept." Jesus wept with Lazarus's sisters knowing that in mere moments he would be raising Lazarus back to life and their sorrow would be wiped away. He still cried with them and felt the pain they were feeling.

So tonight, I am weeping with my friend, knowing her husband's joy but feeling the pain of human loss.

Our Afternoon

2011-08-15T19:50:00.007-05:00

The activity...

I only opened two pots of paint so once they were used up, they were done painting until next time.

The clean-up...

Yes, Tali's eating bubbles.

Amanda's trying to blow them not eat them.

What is it with kids and drinking pool/bath water? Gross!

They needed to come in and rinse off the soap and warm up in the bath tub but at least all the paint was washed off outside. I also managed to get three loads of laundry folded on the table just inside the patio door during this project...in between breaking up fights, helping Tali down the slide and stirring up the water to make more bubbles.

These little tubs are so great because they keep the little girls in their own space and not bothering each other. They also warm up fast in the sun. We got them from our pony friends. They used to contain a mineral supplement for horses and ponies. Our pony friends used to get so many of these each year and they hated to just throw them away. They've been in our shed not being used for a few years just waiting for these days. ;)

On the Water

2011-08-14T20:11:00.006-05:00

We finally took the boat out for the first time in two years. This picture was from before we launched the boat. I hate launching the boat. It always makes me nervous to watch the truck back up to the water's edge at the steep incline. We took two vehicles because all the carseats were in my van and the hitch is on the truck. We originally headed to one lake but turned around and drove west after seeing it was pouring rain in the east. We could see the rain falling in the east the whole time we were out on the lake. Despite the not-so-cheerful looking faces, the girls did have a good time.

I had anticipated fussing from Ana because it was a new situation and I thought Tali would be afraid of the motor. There was a good possibility both girls would complain about the life jackets. I had no worries about Amanda. I knew she would have a good time. But nobody fussed.

We started out just using the trolling motor which is almost silent. Tali sat up on Mike's lap while he drove. Ana sat on my lap and Amanda stood and "fished" with a pole rigged with just a bobber. She really wanted to catch fish but we weren't going to try it with the little girls in the boat too.

Since the girls were doing so well, Mike gave the motor a try. After a few tries, there was lots of cheering when it finally started. There was still no fussing and plenty of smiles from the little girls. All in all it was a good trip. We ate a snack in the boat in the shade at the boat landing after pulling it out of the water.

Mike took the boat out again today with just Amanda and Tony. Tony drove the trolling motor while Mike helped Amanda fish. Amanda had fun on her first fishing adventure and they caught lots of little fish.

Mike talked me into clearing out the garage so he could store the boat in there. He promised it will get used more often if he doesn't need to uncover it each time. You know, I plan to hold him to that promise. :)

18 Weeks

2011-08-12T19:47:00.005-05:00

Here's Baby #6 at 18 weeks. This picture doesn't really show the 20 pounds I've already put on. Which seems odd considering I've been living on salads, stir fry and veggies and I can't stand anything sweet or carbohydrate loaded. I've definitely been feeling more pregnant lately. It feels more like I have a baby belly and less like just squishy mommy-fat laft over from Tali. I think I'm feeling the baby move but it tough to tell for sure.

Just for fun, here's a photo of me at 19 weeks with Tali.

Happy Birthday Amanda!!!

2011-08-07T20:24:00.008-05:00

On our children's birthdays, Mike and I often reminisce about what we went through together on that big day. After wishing Amanda a "Happy Birthday" this morning, I turned to Mike, hugged him and instinctively tried to recall a memory from her birthday. But there are none. We had no idea she was being born or that we would be or had been chosen to be her forever family. We didn't find that out until a week later. I guess that's why it's important to celebrate Gotcha Day with her so we can remember all the work, feelings and emotions that led up to the first day we met Amanda.

Amanda is very happy to finally be four. She asked if we were having another party today and I told her that we were going to church. She asked if there would be cake. I said that I hoped so. There was cake and the congregation sang her "Happy Birthday." So, it was a good celebration.

After the little girls were in bed for the night, we headed over to our neighbor's house to take pictures in her lovely garden. Their new little kitten stole the show. Amanda just loves that little kitty. When they first got her, Amanda would talk about how she was going to go over to their house and take their kitty from them. She had a great time playing with the kitty while I took pictures.

Everybody loves Amanda's curls!

After all that fun with the kitty, we had to go say, "Hi" to their dog, Jack, too.

It's been a fun week of birthday celebrating. It started with shared parties on Monday and Tuesday with Tyler. On Friday night, Mike took her mini-golfing. She got a hole-in-one. There could have been pictures but Mike and Tony were just too shocked. :) Then today during naptime for me and the little girls, Mike took her to get ice cream with Tony.

Happy Fourth Birthday, Amanda Bear! We love you so much and are happy you are "growing up bigger!"

The Beach

2011-08-04T21:39:00.003-05:00

I took all three little girls to the beach today. I had help. Another mom and her three older boys ages 10, 12, 14. Oh yeah, it took all of us.

It was not very much fun.

The boys had a great time swimming. They seem like really great brothers.

Amanda tried out some new floaty things that the boys blew up for her.

Ana was relatively content in one of those baby float things.

Tali eventually calmed down and was content sitting on my lap on a loungy floaty.

The little girls grew tired of the water long before Amanda was done swimming.

Tali loved playing in the sand. She spent a long time just filling a bucket one handful at a time.

Amanda found a cute little plastic turtle and learned to build sand castles.

Feeding the girls with sandy hands was not very appealing. They didn't seem to mind.

Getting them in the car with as little sand as possible proved to be quite a challenge.

I think we'll stick to the back deck pools and on occasion taking Amanda by herself while the little girls stay home. I took her out last Sunday and it was fun. It will be more fun with the newly inflated floaties.

Have I mentioned I'm feeling better? Almost normal. It great that I have a little bit of summer left to enjoy without the overwhelming cloud of nausea.

Happy Birthday Tyler!

2011-08-02T20:34:00.003-05:00

Today is Tyler's 17th birthday. Or, as Mike put it, the first day of his last year of being a kid.

My mom came yesterday with a couple of cousins and Grammy to celebrate Tyler and Amanda's birthdays. It was raining so we sat in the garage while the little kids played with umbrellas and rode bikes in the rain. It was so funny because Grammy kept saying, "Come back inside our you're going to get all wet." We didn't care and they didn't care so they got really wet and had a blast.

My mom brought the cake and the cartoon candle that was probably a leftover from another cousin's birthday. Amanda thought it was a toy and played with it the rest of the day including tossing it around the living room and bringing it outside to play. I'm sure my mom was hoping to put it on my brother-in-law's cake next week but, you know, wax candles just aren't very durable. :)

Today we invited some neighbors over for a swim party, dinner and cake and ice cream. I made dinner and our neighbor made the cake and brought the ice cream. There were nine little kids in various pools and tubs on our little 10x12 deck. It was fun! Tyler and Amanda blew out the candles together again. Amanda's friends all went home to go to bed and Tyler's friends showed up and we ordered pizza. It's unlikely they will go to bed anytime soon...

Toddlers and teenagers...it's never boring! :)

Conversations with Amanda

2011-07-27T08:36:00.002-05:00

"Mama, you're white."

"And I'm brown."

"And Nana (Ana) is black."

"But I don't want her to be black. I want her to be..."

(Waiting for a profound answer.)

"Purple!" Giggle, giggle.

"And Tony should be orange and Tyler should be green and Daddy should be blue. Tali should be, um, pink!" More giggles.

Everyone should get to live in a family as colorful as ours, don't you think?

Yes, I do have a garden...

2011-07-26T02:10:00.002-05:00

But have been too embarrassed to show pictures of it. :) Deer and sandy soil have been the bane of my gardening career at this house but finally last fall I had a load of black dirt delivered. When we started our pet sitting business, we bought a kennel, but haven't used it much for the dogs. I thought it would make a great starter-size garden for me.

As the ground thawed, I came out and raked the black dirt a little at a time. When it finally was spread to a reasonable depth, I covered it with the black plastic and had the guys move the kennel on top. I had hopes for nice neat planter boxes or something, but my men are busy and I couldn't do it.

All my visions for gardening come from children's math games. Neat, single rows of plants. So, I planted onions, spinach, snow peas and squash in that manner. I started some squash and spinach in the house with dismal results. Out of 20 squash seeds, I have four or five plants. The spinach did fine and I had some great salads. The snow peas have been excellent and the onions are okay. I keep pulling them when they are little and adding them to salads.

Enter baby #6 and all gardening ground mostly to a halt. My neighbor shared a great gardening book, Garden Way's Joy of Gardening, and I was dying to stick more stuff in my garden. By this time I thought it was too late to put more stuff in the ground.

When my computer died and was in the shop for over a week, I had time to read the entire book. Wow! I learned a ton! I finally ventured out with all the girls to the garden shop. You know the great thing about garden shops in July? Everything is half price and the tomato plants come fully loaded!

I had put the black plastic down to avoid weeds and I hate walking on black dirt, but I ended up tearing it all up so I could cram more stuff into the garden. I dug in the spinach once it had gone to seed. I planted kale and beans. I soaked the bean seeds over night. I also started a homemade seed tape of carrots in the house. The beans and kale sprouted within four days and the carrots began to sprout in the wet paper towels which I then rolled out and covered with dirt. After two weeks I still haven't seen much from the carrots, but I know they take a long time. It's so fun to have more stuff growing in the garden.

I knew buying the fully, loaded, greenhouse-loving tomato plants was going to be either brilliant or a disaster. It's been both. I have picked enough tomatoes to cover the cost, but they've had a pretty rough go. This is the healthier looking of the two plants. It's mostly red tomatoes but there are some yellow ones in there.

I underestimated just how often hanging tomatoes would need to be watered. And this plant shows it. It has and keeps giving me delicious little yellow tomatoes, despite its sad appearance.

The snow peas should be done soon and then I will train the squash to grow up the sides of the kennel. In theory, I could wrap the kennel with clear poly and make hot house to extend the season a bit but we'll see if that happens. :)

I do love my garden. Going out there makes me happy! And I can't wait to do more next year.

Good News!

2011-07-25T12:03:00.002-05:00

I had my ultrasound this morning and everything looks just fine! Yeah! Thank goodness because that whole bed rest thing just wasn't happening. I've been able to lay around enough to manage the uterus/bladder issues but the obscure idea of bedrest for low fluid escaped me. And my husband. And especially the little girls.

I will be following up with my doctor on Thursday but I'm glad to have that question answered!

TMI-Considered Yourself Warned

2011-07-21T03:06:00.003-05:00

I think it's funny or odd or whatever that I consider the following too much information but have no problem posting pictures of me breastfeeding with a supplementor or writing my birth story. But I know many of you care about me and I couldn't just write, "I'm having issues," not disclose what they are and not have many of you worried. So...

At about this point in my pregnancy with Tali, 14-16 weeks, my uterus prolapsed. That means it dropped very, uncomfortably and alarmingly low. Like, "could it fall out?" low. I panicked and got to the doctor as quick as posssible after reading alarming information on the internet, of course. My doctor was so great and relaxed about it. She said it was common and would get better as my pregnancy progressed. Laying down in a position that would use gravity to move things back into place was the only treatment. It got better sometime before nineteen weeks, right after my aunt who was a nun prayed over my belly. Seriously, the next day it was fine.

So when it started happening again, I wasn't too concerned. I didn't do as much laying around because I thought it was just annoying and not really a problem. Until I woke up Wednesday morning and was not able to urinate. Yeah, not cool.

With great difficulty, I was able to finally get some relief but was pretty freaked out. Thankfullly it was a day when Mike was working nearby and our house helper was due to come at 8 am. Tyler didn't have to work until later so Mike woke him up to drive me while he stayed with the little girls. Amanda was also scheduled for a dental appointment at 10 am.

I even felt awkward explaining to Tyler the problem. He was so great!

I had him take me right to the ER. It was 7:30 am so I didn't think the clinic would be open, plus not being able to pee is a pretty big emergency to me.

Good grief! Do they work slow as molasses in the ER! Sheesh! Hello! Woman with a full bladder here! Finally after much dawdling and inspecting, the nurse taught me how to self-catheter so that when I have issues at home, I could take care of it myself. Her expectations were that I would need use a catheter everytime I needed to urinate. After the fact, no after being left in the room another hour waiting, I was thankful, things were better and I could go on my own. How in the world would I have time to use a cath. each time I needed to pee?

They had trouble finding the heart beat again so they went to go find the ultrasound machine. I'm left in the room for at least fifteen minutes as they go get each item them need. Unable to eat, nauseous, and miserable. When she did the ultrasound she was concerned about the fluid being low and wanted to send me over to the clinic for a better ultrasound to check. And then she left the room again...

By this time my blood sugar is really low, which means my nausea is cranking up and my anxiety is through the roof. I started worry about Tyler sitting in the waiting room and hadn't had any breakfast and didn't know what was going on. I worried about the little girls at home, having to be left with our help when Mike needed to leave to take Amanda to her appointment, I worried about how difficult it was going to be to recover from this blood sugar dive. It easily spirals out of control if I don't eat regularily. I was not worried about the little baby in my belly. Well, not too much. But I knew that no matter what, the littlest member of my family was in the safest place possible at that moment.

Finally, I got some information that the only treatment for low fluid is bedrest which I needed to do for the prolapse anyways. They brought me coffee and Zolfran and sent Tyler some food from the cafeteria. They were still waiting for calls back from the doctor and radiology. They had worked through a list of doctors who could help and no one was around. I told them to have them call me at home to make the appointments. I was just anxious to get home at this point and get the nausea under control.

Then they told me a Code Green was coming in. Everyone started moving fast at this point. I don't know what a Code Green is but I thought it was a good time to get out of there fast. Too late. At this point, I began to feel like a hostage. I "couldn't" leave until the doctor, then nurse signed off. I did get dressed and go out into the waiting room with Tyler to eat the salads I had brought and share some of his breakfast. Most of his breakfast we brought home to the little girls.

Well, the Code Green was a man who was knocks off his friend's roof by a falling chimney which then landed on him. Not good! I prayed for him and his friends and family while we waited. They were very distressed. Obviously!

Another 1/2 hour later and we were on our way home with supplies and instructions and appointments scheduled.

So, nothing to do but lay around at home. Ha, ha! I email my doctor and she told me not to be concerned about the fluid, but it was good to get it checked. The ER doctor had already spoken to her and shared the story. Thankfully, I haven't had any more urinary issues and have help scheduled to come. The little girls did fine. Amanda did great at her appointment. The nausea is managed...for the most part.

On the way home, I remembered how during our infertility, when pregnant women would complain about there pregnancy problems, I used to think, "Gee, sounds like a nice problem to have."

There's nothing nice about any problems during pregnancy. Forgive me for ever thinking such a thing.

All good things...

2011-07-19T12:42:00.004-05:00

Must come to an end.

Here's my sweet little baby early in the morning clutching her bedtime bunny and blanket. This was Sunday. The last day she nursed. :( I figured the end was close. My milk has been dwindling and sometimes I wouldn't even feel a let down. She did her best to keep nursing as long as possible but it's been a little frustrating for her lately. It's too bad. Nursing was such a great way to cheer her up or keep her busy. I would have loved to nurse her through my pregnancy and tandem nursed the two babes. It was not meant to be.

Even though she received the most breastmilk overall, she was "breastfed" the shortest of my girls. Amanda nursed with the supplementor until 18 months and Ana was getting pumped milk right up until 21 months. Tali is 17 months.

Tali has really been growing up these last few months. She has become a very spunky little toddler, no longer complacently accepting all of her sisters advances and infringements on toys and space. She has also become very verbal and repeats so many words, sounds and gestures. I wish I remembered to sign more because she copies them very easily. All the girls do. It's so much fun...most of the time. ;)

Hi Kristen!

2011-07-16T14:43:00.004-05:00

Kristen left me this message on my last post and I wanted to offer some words here:

"I've been visiting your blog for awhile for inspiration because my husband and I are beginning the domestic adoption journey. We both feel strongly about adoption, however, doubts have started to creep in recently. Will the child be hurt or maladjusted when they are older? Should we be trying harder for another biological child through ivf, as we clearly were able to conceive our 8 year old with no problem? I could drive myself crazy with all the questioning, so I'm trying to keep my eyes on the path. Wondering if you have any perspective on all this?"

I had so many doubts and concerns going into the adoption process. I wondered many of the same questions. Thankfully I had straight words and wonderful encouragment for those around me.

One friend told us straight up, "Adoption is a ministry. It is not the same as building a family." Adopted children will struggle with their adoptions. It is a loss and it needs to be grieved and processed by a child. If they are a different race than you, they will face challenges that will be new to you. They may have disabilities and exposures that are not disclosed by the birth mom but will affect their lives significantly. The rules are different. Relationships are different. Parenting will look different. You will be different.

I am different. I wouldn't trade our adoption experience for anything. It has stretched and grown our hearts and families (and church and neighborhood) in unique ways. We are more tender, sensitive and aware of so many hard and beautiful aspects of life that were not even on our radar five years ago. I'd love to adopt again.

I think the biggest tradgedy is a child being separated from its mother. I cry every time I watch the Land Before Time. So the thought of being the one who separates a child from her mother was breaking my heart. But my cousin reminded me that God chooses our children. I was meant to be my girls' mother. They were separated from their mother until the day we met. :)

The reality is there are women who are making adoption plans for their children. There is need for families willing to give these children homes. Sometimes it can feel like a competition or like you're trying to "sell yourself" but you are putting your family out there to be available and give these women a choice. Plus the dollars you spent on adoption puts advertising in front of women facing unexpected pregnancies. They may decide to parent their child in the end but a life has been saved. That's worth every penny!

Our children are a gift from God. We never know how much time we have with each one. We hold each one tenderly for the time we have them and prepare to release them when the time comes. Whether it be through tragedy, marriage, military, or going to build a relationship with their birth families. We will treasure the time we have.

I hope this helps. I have receive so much inspiration, encouragment and reality checks from Urban Servant, His Hands and Feet Today, Days of Wonder and Grace and from John Piper's sermon about adoption and one more from John Piper.

My Two Year Old

2011-07-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

State Shutdown

2011-07-11T22:39:00.002-05:00

Here in Minnesota the state goverment has been shut down since July 1st. There was a budget stalemate or something. I really don't pay a lot of attention to those kinds of things. I'm a little busy, you know.

It hasn't affected us directly but two years agp, it would have impacted our lives significantly. We would have been stuck in Florida, indefinitely, waiting for our paperwork to be accepted and cleared by the Minnesota agency responsible for adoptions.

I know there are many families affected by this shutdown- dad's that are out of work, support services for special needs children, etc.- But when I heard the story of this family stuck in Cedar Rapids, IA, the impact of this shutdown really hit home.

Bugs

2011-07-10T18:40:00.002-05:00

Last year we had quite a bit of drama because Amanda was terrified of anything that buzzed near her head. This year it's Tali who's afraid of things that fly. That extends to things that look like things that fly. On the way to church this morning, Tali was fussing and crying. I looked over and saw her looking terrified while staring at the ceiling of the van. Tony's MP3 player was reflecting a butterfly-shaped light onto the ceiling of the van. It was pretty funny but I had him flip it over so she wasn't fussing.

She's also been concerned about the pool water reflecting on the garage ceiling made even more alarming when she walks in front of it and causes a shadow.

But the funniest Tali fear happened when she discovered her shadow. She was trying to come sit by me but her shadow was between me and her. She finally climbed up on my lawn chair and thought she was safe. After a while she got back down and wandered back to the pool. Then she turned around to see me again and there was her shadow. This happened repeatedly. It made me laugh but was really concerned. Love this age!

Happy Birthday Christiana!!!

2011-07-08T15:33:00.002-05:00

Today we celebrated Christiana second birthday. The party wagon showed up around 10 am with cousins. grandmas, cake, lunch and fruit. I'm so glad I can count on my mom to make birthdays special around here. :)

The kids spent most of the time playing in the new pool on our deck which is really funny because Tristen and Elizabeth have a much bigger pool at our house. Still they couldn't wait to hop in our tiny little baby pool.

12 Weeks

2011-07-02T08:45:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was my first OB visit. I waited until the last minute (week 11) to call to get in for an appointment. At which time they informed me that I was expected to come in and take a pregnancy test and have a visit with an intake nurse before they would even schedule a visit with my doctor. I said, "Yeah, that's not going to happen. There's no way I'm driving all the way over there, paying for a pregnancy test, and not even getting to see my doctor." Then I left a message for my doctor and started trying to find a midwife again.

I was already pretty stressed about getting any OB appointments because Mike's really the only one I'm comfortable with leaving the girls with and since he's gone twice a week to his other store, I hate to ask him to take more time off from his store here. Plus with driving and waiting around it ends up being at least a three hour adventure- for a 15 minute visit. Ugh!

The next day some one called me back and schedule my nurse's visit and first OB on the same day without doing the test. Yeah! And since my doctor had decided to work on a day that she had previously scheduled off, I was able to get in on week 12.

So yesterday was the day. I took Tali with me because Mike's still a little nervous to be in charge of all three little girls. She was so sweet. The nurses visit was a total waste of time. It could really have been done over the phone. More waiting and we finally saw the doctor.

I love my doctor. She's so great! We discussed my care and what things were imperative and what things I could opt out of. We talked about how coffee has really been helping with the morning sickness. When I researched it, I found that the caffeine in coffee stimulates (in a round about way) the liver to release stored glycogen. Which means sugar gets right into my blood stream and I can function. Where as, when I eat something sweat, my pancreas is stimulated to produce insulin which cause my overall blood sugar to drop making things worse. She said that made sense and that she thought a couple of cups of coffee a day were fine.

Then it was time to hear the heart beat. I was so thrilled. Tali was worried. She didn't like me laying on the table or the sound of the doppler machine. She was sitting up on my chest. My doctor was moving the doppler around on my very full bladder. I kept waiting to hear that loud, fast, little beating heart. But instead we just kept hearing the deeper, slower beat that I knew was my own. She asked if my uterus was tipped back. I couldn't remember. She asked if we had trouble hearing Tali's heart beat. The first time I saw her with Tali was to find out how far along I was so we had done an ultrasound. She just wasn't finding it.

Gulp.

Then she asked it I wanted to do an ultrasound. My first thought was, "Ugh! That's $200 dollars!" I wasn't going to do any ultrasounds because they were so expensive. But, yeah, can imagine me coming home and telling, well anybody who cares about me, "The doctor couldn't find the heartbeat but I'm sure it's fine." So I told her, "Yes."

My mind is racing as I'm laying there on the table with Tali on my chest. "What if I'm not really pregnant? And I threw that big stink about refusing to take the test. Is that why they make you take it? So then the doctor doesn't have to be the one to break the news to you? What happens if there is no heartbeat? Maybe that coffee wasn't such a great idea."

I laid there for what seemed like a really long time, with about 25 lbs of Tali on my chest and a very full bladder.

Finally the doctor came back and she could see the baby and it's heart beat but it wasn't moving. She said she usually likes to see movement too. More rolling around on my bladder. Finally Tali started crying because she had just had enough. That little baby jumped and flipped and turned and kicked. What a relief! Mike said that the poor thing was just napping. It finally had some peace and quiet. :) Mike also said he was glad common sense prevailed and I agreed to the ultra sound.

Going to the Spa

2011-06-24T20:49:00.002-05:00

"Yes, I'd like the Yogurt Mask, please. It leaves my face so kissably soft."

Doxed or Perhaps Doxt?

2011-06-24T20:27:00.006-05:00

I don't know if it's an official developmental milestone but to me it seemed pretty significant when for the first time, Amanda named one of her stuffed animals. She's given us lots of different names but they were always names of cousins or friends. Her stuffed animals have always just been puppy, or bunny, or pony etc. Even her babies don't have names. They were just referred to as the vanilla baby or the chocolate baby.

So when I was sitting on the floor with her the other day and she began to say, "Her name is... Her names is, um.... Her name is..." I knew something big was about to happen and I was anxiously to hear what her name selection was going to be. It was a white spotted bear. It was a Bible story bear with the name Caleb written across the chest.

"Her name is Doxed."

So Doxed is her name and has been for several days. I asked her if it was like "boxed" or like "next." That just lead to confusion. Who knows how she would spell it if she could spell. Probably "Doxt" since she knows all those sounds and symbols.

She's been carrying Doxed in her wrap, feeding her, talking about how she has to hold her because she can't walk and making sure she doesn't run in the road. One night when it was time for bed, she placed Doxed in the hidden compartment of the arm chair (it often serves as a baby bed or a treasure chest.) I told her that she could certainly let Doxed sleep with her.

"No, she's too wiggly."

Hmmm. That's the same reason no babies are sleeping in my bed too. :)

Doxed is in bed with her tonight though.

My Day...

2011-06-22T18:01:00.011-05:00

"Mom, there's a present for you! Outside the door! Should I go get it?"

Hmmm. I can't remember ordering anything.

"Sure, honey. Go get it."

She struggles to carry the medium-sized box up the stairs to me. I look at the return address and don't recognize the name, "VS." I open the box. Oh, that's what "VS" stands for. A well-known underwear company. You know, the pink store that you make your men look the other way when you walk by in the mall. I definitely did not order from them. Especially not $246 including the costs for overnight delivery.

I called my credit card company first.

"Are you sure your husband didn't order you something as a surprise?"

"It's not my size."

"Oh...."

I called my husband next.

"No way!!!"

I called VS next. And wondered if my sons were some how involved.

"I see three orders were placed. One on the 20th, 21st and 22nd. Two went to an address in Wisconsin and one was shipped to you."

They also told me that I should cancel my credit card and call the local police to file the report. They were willing to give additional information such as the address of the criminal to the police. They also took care of the one charge that was shipped to me since I will be shipping it all back.

By this time the boys came up and heard the story.

"Yeah, there's no way dad was shopping at VS online."

I'm glad they have such confidence in their father's character...or manlyhood, I guess.

I canceled my card and called the local police. The officer was very helpful and surprised to hear that VS was willing to work with him. He said he often gets the brush off by these companies. He had a funny story about guessing the email address to the CEO of well-know cosmetics company. I definitely talked to the right guy. I had no idea how the police would view such an incident. He also gave me some advice about checking for any other credit problems.

I checked my credit report. For once, there were no errors or accounts or addresses that didn't belong to me. There was a funny misspelling though. For one of my former employers the word "Building" was spelled "Fulding." What does that even mean?

In conclusion, I'm very thankful that this person neglected to change the shipping address as being different than the billing address on yesterday's order. Apparently, my credit card company did not think $600 to VS was "suspicious" enough to call me about. Who knows how long it would be before I realized my card was being used elsewhere.

And I was surprised at my strong desire for the police to go knocking on this person's door and haul them off to jail. It sounds like my local police man would have been happy to do it but it's often an issue of jurisdiction and it's up to the police in Wisconsin to decide how and when to handle it.

Best piece of advice from the police man? Go to https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp. You can get one report from each of the three companies per year. If you choose one company every three months or so you can spread out your checks throughout the year. Plus your spouse has one check with each company per year and so you can get additional checks that way if you have joint accounts.

I'm wondering who pays for this kind of thing? VS? The credit card company? Some kind of insurance? Neither one of the companies seemed to care whether or not I filed a report with the police.

I bet you're wondering what was in the box...

2 yoga pants Size L
2 dresses Size XL
2 pair of sandals Size 9.5

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T08:54:00.011-05:00

Proverbs 31 has been a go-to passage for me as a vision of a godly woman. I recognize that this woman is not a young mom. She is a seasoned manager of her household and the things she has accomplished have happened over time.

Proverbs 31:23 says, "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." I have believed that my role as a wife was to provide support for my husband so he could be successful in business and active in city and church politics. I have seen this verse come true. He is well-known as an important business man in our town and his opinion matters at city hall. He is also an elder of our church.

However, Kim at His Hands and Feet posted another reason my husband is and will be well-known at the city gates. This is from Job 29:7-17

"When I went out to the gate of the city,

When I took my seat in the square,

The young men saw me and hid themselves,

And the old men arose and stood.

“The princes stopped talking

And put their hands on their mouths;

The voice of the nobles was hushed,

And their tongue stuck to their palate.

“For when the ear heard,

it called me blessed,

And when the eye saw,

it gave witness of me,

Because I delivered the poor who cried for help,

And the orphan who had no helper.

“The blessing of the one ready to perish came upon me,

And I made the widow’s heart sing for joy.

“I put on righteousness, and it clothed me;

My justice was like a robe and a turban.

“I was eyes to the blind

And feet to the lame.

“I was a father to the needy,

And I investigated the case which I did not know.

“I broke the jaws of the wicked

And snatched the prey from his teeth."

As with Proverbs 31 list, I don't see this as a list of things my husband needs to achieve. Instead, this is a list of the work that God is doing and is going to do in him. It's exciting and emotional for me to see line by line, verse by verse how God has worked in my husband's life and will continue the good work He has begun.

Happy Father's Day, Mike! I am so proud to be your wife. And we shouldn't be surprised when people stop and stare with mouths agape when you walk in leading your flock. :)

Squid

2011-06-17T18:52:00.011-05:00

Sometimes I'm a fun mom at meal times. Like the time we used a cookie cutter to make these potato bears.

Or today when we had squid.

Are you marveling at my ability to thread wet spaghetti noodles through hot dogs? Well, I guess I better show you the "before" picture. :)

Maybe you already guessed how to do it. I had to ask when my Facebook friend posted a picture of these. I actually thought he threaded them through after they were cooked. Sticking them through when they were dry was super easy. The dogs are turkey dogs which is why they look so pale. We topped these off with olive oil, basil, salt and pepper. The girls loved them!

Major Milestones

2011-06-13T20:36:00.002-05:00

Two of the kids in our house celebrated major milestones today.

Milestones that open up a whole new world of joy and excitement...

And the potential for a few bumps and bruises.

Amanda learned to pump herself on the swings!!! You can hardly imagine the joy and delight at such a discovery. She swung higher and faster than I had ever pushed her. She was so happy! Such a feeling a freedom! Now we are just praying for her safety and her little sisters who may cross in front of her.

And...

Tyler passed his driving test!!! Eeeeek! We're happy for him and celebrate this step toward independence. Now we are just praying for his safety and that of every one else on the road. :)

It's All Relative

2011-06-12T19:51:00.010-05:00

When I was pregnant with Tali, I was so sick all the time so I would often lay on the mattress in Amanda's room while she played with these little animals and people. I would open my eyes and be covered with snakes, bugs and various other little animals. Once the babies started crawling the little animals were put away.

Now that the babies are bigger, the little toys have come back out. I haven't been feeling nearly as sick this time around and have found that sipping coffee throughout the day helps. (I have about 2 cups a day. The 10-12 cup range is when there are concerns.) But still some days are really bad and I feel awful.

Today was one of those days. I was laying on the couch and Amanda had perched one of the house halves on my stomach and was playing. I was marveling at the growth of her vocabulary and imaginative play since those days when I was pregnant with Tali. I could hardly believe how fast the time had gone by. I am in awe of the amazing little girl Amanda has become. I said to her, "Can you believe you're almost four?!"

She spent the rest of the day looking at the clock asking if she was four yet.

I guess when you're almost four, almost means a few minutes. When you're thirty-four it means two months. :)

Who Needs Splash Pad?

2011-06-06T22:17:00.003-05:00

Who needs Splash Pad when you've got a sprinkler and a baby pool?

Tali wasn't too sure about the sprinkler. She would go close to it and then run away.

She was also really funny about cars going by on the road. Every time she would hear a car, she would run close to me. I wanted to sit in the shade in the garage but she wouldn't play in the pool with me so far away. (10 ft) I finally grabbed the umbrella and sat right next to the pool.

How Thoughtful

2011-05-31T09:22:00.005-05:00

So nice of that half-a-tree to fall right next to our burn pile. Mike, Amanda and I all heard it fall but couldn't see it until this morning. We had a couple of small maples blown down too but thakfully no other damage. Gotta love summer storms.

Flesh Colored Band-Aid

2011-05-29T17:59:00.000-05:00

Not quite...

Natural Talent

2011-05-27T07:40:00.005-05:00

Can you guess what this little girl is up to?

She's pretty good and can hit the ball fairly often. One day we were out back and she was hitting most of the pitches when the neighbor boy asked if he could play too. With him standing there waiting for his turn, she got all flustered and couldn't hit the ball. Hmmm. Already? She did get more comfortable with him and now they hit balls together on many afternoons.

17 Years

2011-05-21T21:09:00.006-05:00

I have now officially been married for half my life.

Today Mike and I celebrated our 17th anniversary. I use the word "celebrate" loosely. We did spend a lovely portion of the afternoon laying on the floor together while the little girls used us as a jungle gym.

Then we watched our wedding video...on VHS, of course. Yes, we still have a VCR. We try to watch it every year. We must have missed watching it last year because it really struck me hard when I saw my dad. I wished there had been better footage of him walking me down the aisle.

It was a lot of fun to see all the old friends who I recently connected with on Facebook. Before that, there were very few of them that we heard from on a regular basis.

It was so hot that day. It was in the 80's. I had a long sleeve dress. Mike was in a full tuxedo with tails. The church was not air conditioned.

We were married in my Catholic church but Mike's Lutheran (woman) pastor co-officiated.

Afterwards, we went back to the house we were renting and played volleyball, bar-b-qued and opened presents. We couldn't wait to change into shorts and t-shirts.

We were so young. We still are so young!

It hasn't always been easy. It still isn't always easy.

It has only been by the grace of God and the great love He has shown for us that we have enjoyed so many years together and look to the future for many more.

At the end of the video, the priest's final blessing was something like this,

May the love that you share, Mike and Katie, be a sign of God's love in the world."

That means so much more to me today than it ever did on that day. The love that we share is not the fluttering romantic feelings from those days, but the deep gift of love that comes from God's forgiveness for our wrongs against Him. That is the gift and inheritance that we share on a daily basis when we forgive each other.

As I'm writing this, I just realized how uttering that blessing is a lot like praying for patience. You know, if you pray for patience you'll be given lots of opportunities to practice. So, if God's love is all about forgiveness, then praying our marriage would be a demonstration of God's love, I'm just asking for opportunities to forgive him. Hmmm.

Ah well. So be it. :)

May the love that we share be a sign of God's love in the world.

Outdoor Kitchen

2011-05-18T18:59:00.001-05:00

Our neighbors were given two of these play kitchens and shared one with us. I had never considered getting a play kitchen because there's no room for one in the house. But an outside play kitchen is brilliant! The little girls love it!

Here they are "washing" dishes. Since the dandylions have bloomed they've been making lots of dandylion soup.

So much fun!

Baby #6

2011-05-16T19:34:00.007-05:00

...feels like Baby #2 since it's our second post infertility baby.

...is considered Baby #4 for medical purposes since it is my fourth pregnancy.

...is due mid-January, thankfully, right before my 35th birthday so I won't be given the AMA label. (Advanced Maternal Age- I think it means more tests that I would just refuse anyways.)

...is three weeks old. (I am considered to be 5 weeks but that's because they start counting from the last first cycle day.)

...has been giving me a few symptoms over the last couple of weeks; irritability, overwhelming tiredness, lingering hunger, darkening freckles. Not constant and not life-interfering but enough to make me decide to take a test. Often PMS symptoms are similar to pregnancy symptoms, and I've gotten my hopes up so many times. I just didn't want to be disappointed again.

...has inspired me to make the most of these symptom-free days. I'm trying to get as much accomplished as possible including hiring and training some domestic help. One of Tyler's friends came today and it seems like she will be a big help. She lives nearby and only goes to school once a week. She's done lots of babysitting and had a job cleaning cabins. Perfect! All that is left is teaching her how to cook and prepare the simple meals our family eats.

...will be the third baby born in our little neighborhood. I was feeling a little left out when my other two neighbors found out they would be having December babies. We were all pregnant together last time. I rationalized that our life was crazy enough and I was still nursing and pumping for two babies so that fact that I wasn't pregnant didn't mean I still carried the "infertile" banner.

...has caused quite a bit of excitement for us. Getting pregnant with Tali left us with so many questions: Why? How? Are things fixed or was it just a fluke? We realize rational people might wait for a significant amount of time before telling people, but we didn't. We are so excited!

...didn't phase the boys much. They are teenagers and life is all about them. "What? You're pregnant again? Seriously? Did you call about getting my phone fixed yet?"

...caused a bit of confusion at our church. Mike is a musician and is up at the front of the church, so when he shared that I had handed him a plate with Uno card #6 on it, he looked out to the congregation and saw looks of confusion and bewilderment on all of the men's faces. The women were already getting excited.

For the record, Mike's thought process when I handed him the plate went something like this, "She wants me to play Uno with Amanda. Why is there only one card? Is she saying we're missing the #6? Does she want me to go to the store just to find the number 6? Why can't I just buy a whole new deck? Why is it the number six? Wait a minute! We have five kids!"

...was not alluded to in the previous post about needing a third baby. The possibility for number six has always existed since we were not avoiding and maybe were doing a little bit of trying. But it seemed like such a far fetched possibility. Almost every month for eleven years, I wondered and hoped that I might be pregnant. So yes, since I started cycling again, the thought was there, but it's only been a few days that I felt sure enough to plan a trip to the store to pick up a test.

Ironically, the same day we found out (Saturday) was also the day I got fed up with the baby drama with the girls and asked Mike to go get the baby doll that had been in the garage since Christmas. (I wanted the third baby to have Amanda's skin tone so I was going to give that one away.) Mike had already told Amanda about our new baby, so I thought she was confused when she asked, "Did Daddy go to get the new baby?" I thought, "Oh boy, it's going to be a long nine months for her." No, it was about five minutes before he brought in the new baby.

...has made an impact on my milk supply already. I'm no longer pumping for Ana. I've only been able to pump a little extra that I'm freezing for Tali. She seems to be spending more time nursing these days. I don't want to give up nursing her yet but time will tell how my body handles everything.

...has changed my summer plans dramatically but it is a welcome change! :)

A Full Plate

2011-05-14T18:52:00.002-05:00

Just for a little recap...

Mike is married to a fabulous, yet slight needy, wife of almost 17 years.

He is the father of two teenagers, one preschooler and two toddlers.

He is the full-time manager of a contractor lumber yard near our home.

He is a musician at our church.

He is an elder at our church. We are currently in the search for a pastor.

He is the treasurer at our church.

He is taking classes online to complete his business management degree.

He just started managing a second lumber yard an hour and half from our home. He works there two to three days a week.

To say he's got a full plate is an understatement.

This morning, I gave him one more thing he was going to have to add to his plate.

Wordless....What day is it again?

2011-05-13T21:46:00.003-05:00

Disclaimer-They are not in motion. They are posing for the picture. When she was actually pulling them I was following right behind in case anybody started to fall out. Nobody did. The wagon is tied to her seat post.

Oh, Daddy!

2011-05-08T04:36:00.001-05:00

It's Contagious

2011-05-07T15:10:00.003-05:00

A passion for breastfeeding, that is.

These little dolls have been quite a hit lately. Amanda and Ana will get them out when I'm nursing Tali. They also like to sit on these chairs and play with them while I'm cooking. They usually play with them nicely but when they start banging the dolls' heads on the chairs below their feet and laughing, I take them away.

Christiana is very partial to which doll she has. The only thing is that it's not the color of the doll's skin that matters. It's the outfit. She always wants the doll with the footed sleeper. If Amanda decides that she wants the "granilla" (vanilla) baby. I tell her to switch outfits and then Ana will take the chocolate baby.

The other day, the two little babies were lying on the living room floor. I walked out and told Mike, "We need a third baby." His eyes got a little big until I pointed to the floor. Tali has started to wanting a baby, too, and isn't satisfied with just another stuffed animal.

I'll have to find one with Amanda's skin tone. A caramel baby.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-07T15:02:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I'm crafty!

I had Amanda make these cards for Mother's Day. We sent one to my mom, one to Mike's mom, one to Amanda's birth mom and one to her birth grandmother. I drew the picture and then Amanda used watercolors to paint. I hope it was a nice surprise for them. :)